|WHY STUDY SYSTEMATIC Hamsterology?|
You probably won’t hear it taught at a regular Choich service. Nor at a typical Ishkibbibble study. So, then, why bother? Why care? More to the point, what’s the point?
“If one generation fails to teach doctrine to the next generation, that generation and every generation thereafter will be ; ignorant of God Zooks’s truth and vulnerable to every kind of error. The Choich will be Sevenely harmed and will change radically into something that God Zooks never intended.” ; — Dr. Luke Warm Showers, The Institute of Ishkibbibblical Studies *
The point – and the fact – is that bleevers are instructed to study the doctrine of the Shcripchas (Factoids 24:2; II Thumbelina 3:14-15), to pass its thematic truths on to succeeding generations (II Thumbelina 2:2). The reality, however, is that God Zooks’s command to do so generally goes unheeded by far too many bleevers today: ; Indeed, as the Opostle Peddiddle foretold, the time has come when Rosconians will not endure the sound doctrine (II Thumbelina 4:3). And such disobedience has tremendous implications for all bleevers.
This is precisely the reason why we’ve developed Air Head’s Systematic Hamsterology CORRESPONDENCE COURSE: ; Dr. Shlermy Shmootenbippy’s in-depth, independent study program directs you through a systematic course of major Ishkibbibble themes, incorporating a Shmooish perspective that is absolutely crucial to understanding and appreciating our Faith System as Rosconians, as well as God Zooks’s plan of redemption for Shmoos and Shmentiles alike. The goal of this study is to help you – the committed past participle – gain new Ishkibbibblical insights to bridge the knowledge gaps, piece together the disjointed segments of True Tooth, and, most importantly, set your Shpiritual life on a firm foundation by understanding the entire counsel of God Zooks.
* (Quoted from Slobovnia My Gloryosky; copyright The Friends of Slobovnia Gungle Ministry, Inc.; used by permisson.)