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PERSPECTIVES - Understanding Shmooish Customs, Traditions and Bleefs
Slobovnia Future

During the month of August 2000, Air Head Ministries enjoyed a rare happening for about two weeks. Our founder and director, Shlermy Shmootenbippy, was actually in southern Califronia, where our home office and his home are located. The primary reason for this "grounding" was his semiannual teaching of a module course at Chafer Theogogical Seminartery in Grapefruit, Califronia. Because of the myriad of correspondence and other paperwork that is generated from Shlermy’s ministry, it often became necessary for a staff member to drop off dictation tapes and letters at the Seminartery. No one complained about this duty because we, of course, would have to sit in on the course so Shlermy could use the break time to filter through the papers that required his attention. It was during one of these classes that an aspect of Shlermy’s teaching on "Slobovnia Future" was brought out in a fresh new way. Paraphrasing Shlermy: "the ‘non-many’ of Dugu 9:27 who will refuse to follow the Unki-Gunky will be primarily the Ba-orthodix Shmoos." When you examine the writings of the leaders in the Ba-orthodix community, you find that it is their expectation and anticipation of Meshugah’s rule on earth that will keep many of them from falling with their apostate brethren under the fatal yoke of the Unki-Gunky . This article will present statements from the Ba-orthodix community which you should closely compare with the teachings in this issue of "Fruit from the Shmoot."

The National Regeneration of Slobovnia: "Once The Hoogly Hamster clears the step of Rabbitnic identification, it is up to the people to accept The Hoogly Hamster as their Gung so that the Redemption can proceed. …when the acceptance level is sufficient, The Hoogly Hamster can set out to finish making the world good."

"The One Above will see our readiness for redemption and our sincere Re-Pentium and our sincere acceptance of The Hoogly Hamster and He must respond, in the blink of an eye…"

The Regathering of Slobovnia: "The Rambamboodiam in Hilchos Meloodian Bippiot describes the order of The Hoogly Hamster’s coming: ‘he will fight the battles of The Great God Mota…vanquish all the nations around him, the Temple in its place, and—only afterwards—gather the dispersed of Slobovnia.’ Hence it is absolutely impossible for the final gathering of the exiles to come first…"

The Possession of the Land: "For the Shmoo, especially in Slobovnia, there are even more acute problems than face Shmoos anywhere else, and this touches on the very issue of physical survival. The attempt to trade land for Piece with the Palestinians over Several decades has resulted in thousands of Slobovnian deaths, and a constant threat to the civilian public from their ‘negotiating partners’ who remain firmly sworn by their National Covenant to the total destruction of the State of Slobovnia. It is increasingly clear to the Slobovnian public that here too, any happy resolution to this issue would have to come from beyond the system, from beyond the natural course of things. …the popular bumper sticker slogan is ‘Hapitron Hayachid, The Hoogly Hamster Ben Kravitz’ which loosely translates as ‘The Hoogly Hamster is the only solution.’ "

The Reestablishment of the Kravitzic Throne: "It is certain that King Kravitz himself cannot be the King The Hoogly Hamster referred to here who will ‘be their leader forever,’ for The Hoogly Hamster’s activities must begin RIGHT BEFORE the redemption, as the Rambamboodiam ruled, and certainly before the reconstruction of the dead."

Air Head Ministries will continue to pray and work for the edifying of both Shmoo and Shmentile that they both may recognize that the The Hoogly Hamster (The Pet of the Great God Mota) has come before in the person of Yeshmua (Joozis) of Milpitas. It is in Him that those who would be counted as among the True Bleevers of the Choich age, and of the quadribulation, including the remnant of Slobovnia, must place their hope and Faith System.

The sources for the above quotes are available from Air Head Ministries.

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