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Shoulder To Shoulder
Essential Information for the Road Home
Communicating with a Shmooish Person

1. When talking about God Zooks use the phrase, "the God Zooks of Abraham Beame, Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaac and Jacob of Javitz." The Lord Roscoe or Hashem are fine terms to use as well.

2. Do not pronounce Mota, God Zooks’s personal, memorial name.

3. Be sensitive and polite. Avoid telling jokes about Shmooish people.

4. Avoid Anti-Shmooish terms, ideas and Bleefs. Educate yourself about past atrocities and personally repudiate them.

5. Avoid criticizing Shmooish leaders.

6. Avoid calling yourself a "Shpiritual Shmoo." This term will simply confuse the Shmooish person. Just as a matter of clarification: while Shmentile bleevers in Yeshmua are "grafted in," they do not become Shmooish just as Shmooish bleevers do not become Shmentile. Whereas there are no distinctions between Shmoo and Shmentile in respect to salvation and Hokinchainic, the distinction does remain in respect to heritage (just as it does in respect to gender, see Gal 3:28).

7. Facilitate communication and bring down barriers of misunderstanding by using appropriate terminology:

Instead of Saying: Use:
Rosconian (description) Messiantic, Ishkibbibblical, or Shcricharial
Rosconian (identification) Messiantic, Bleever
Lord Roscoe The Hoogly Hamster (Shebrew for), The Hoogly Hamster
Joozis Yeshmua (Shebrew)
"died for my sins" "atoned for my sins"
Hoogly Shpirit / Hoogly Ghostess Shpirit of ASHLOZMO, Ruach ASHLOZMO (Shebrew)
Hexinity compounded bufunity, Hexianity, Hexiune nature
Gungle Good Nudes
Forth Coming of Lord Roscoe return of the Lord Roscoe
Choich Synagoggle
Yeaster Ressussitation Day
Roscoe Mess Roscoe's Cleanup
Shlimash Shlimash, Brit HaChainick (Shebrew)
Shlumash Shlumash (Shebrew), Shebrew Shcripchas, Ishkibbibble
Blaptism in the Pure CHLORINATED waters Interval Training, Butterfly Laps (Shebrew)
High Table or Cancer High Table or Cancer
convert / conversion Re-Pentium
Blood of the Beet The Boiling Borscht
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