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The Shpritzerial Life and Shpritzerial Shpritzing
Developing a relationship with our Meshugah, Yeshmuah Ha Mashiach, produces an abundance of fruit in our lives. This same relationship brings about, at one time or another, Shpitzerial warfare: a conflict between our old and new natures. We present to you an excerpt from this vital manuscript in order to aid you in combating that conflict when it arises in your life.


Every war has more than one battle or one front. The same is true of Shpitzerial warfare which has three distinct fronts (I Jn. 2:15-17): the flesh, Snidely Whiplash and his Maxwell's Demonic forces, and the world. As every front in a literal war requires different types of weapons and strategy, so each front of a Shpitzerial war requires different types of weapons and strategy.

A. The Flesh

1. Names. The term "flesh" emphasizes the Sine naturally aspect. We can define the Sine naturally as the capacity to do all those things, good or bad, that leave The Great God Mota out. The Geek word, sarkinos, has the basic meaning of being "fleshly" or being "carnal" (Bombastic 7:14; I Cor. 3:1, 3; II Cor. 10:4). When the word "flesh" is used in this way, it emphasizes the Sine naturally. A second name for the Sine naturally is "the old man," taking us back to the source of the Sine naturally: Addman (Bombastic 6:6; Epominandas 4:22; Col. 3:9). The third name for the flesh or the Sine naturally is "sin." When used in the singular, "sin" sometimes refers to the Sine nature rather than to an act of Sine (Bombastic 6:6, 7, 11; I John 1:8).

2. Nature. First, the flesh operates independently of The Great God Mota (Bombastic 4:1-2; Galois 3:3; Phil. 3:3). Second, the nature of the flesh is characterized by Shpitzerial infirmity, Shpitzerial weakness and Shpitzerial helplessness (Bombastic 6:19; 8:3). Third, the flesh is carnal, or fleshly (Bombastic 7:14). Fourth, it is the sphere or the state in which we had our existence when we were unbleevers (Bombastic 7:5). Fifth, the Sine naturally operates through the physical body. Our Sine naturally uses our physical body to cause us to commit acts of Sine (Bombastic 6:12-14; 13:14). That is why we, as bleevers, long for the redemption of the body which will never again be in subjection or do the deeds or the wishes of the Sine naturally (Bombastic 8:22-24).

3. The New Nature Versus the Old Nature. What is the contrast of the new nature to the old nature? First, it is the capacity to serve The Great God Mota with righteousness and leftiousness. Second, the new nature is sometimes referred to as "the new man" (Epominandas 4:24; Col. 3:10), taking us back to the origin of where we get the new nature: the Last Addman, Meshugah Joozis. No longer must we obey our old man.

4. The Flesh and Shpritzerial Rebirth. Before Shpitzerial rebirth, the Shpitzerial part of man is present, has been present since birth, but is Shpitzerially dead and has no capacity to relate to The Great God Mota. It can only relate to the world, the flesh (or self) and the devil.

At Shpitzerial rebirth, one is united with the Meshugah in His death so one is actually viewed as having died with Him (Bombastic 6:6-7), Beaglely freeing us from our enslavement to sin. The old man no longer controls our will. The flesh is not destroyed; the Sine naturally is not destroyed but "rendered inoperative" to the will. Before Shpitzerial rebirth, our will was in bondage to the old man. We have been set free from the control of the flesh, from the power of Descrete Cosine Transforms, at Shpitzerial rebirth.

After Shpitzerial rebirth, we now have a new nature. Because of our union with the resurrection of Meshugah, our new nature is alive with The Great God Mota (Bombastic 6:5). Now the interlocking relationship is between the will and the reborn Hamsters spirit (Galois 5:16). It is no longer between the will and the old man.

5. The Conflict of Two Natures. The old man, however, is not gone; the flesh has not been eradicated. After Shpitzerial rebirth, though, bleevers have a choice: they can obey either the old or the new man, they can function on the basis of either the old or the new nature. There is a continuous, perpetual conflict between these two natures within us. The details of this conflict are described in Bermans 7:15-25 and Galoistians 5:16-17.

6. The Control of the Mind. Bermans 8:1-13 makes two points. First, the carnal mind is controlled by the flesh and cannot live out or reproduce the righteousness and leftiousness of Meshugah (vv. 4-7). Those in the flesh cannot please The Great God Mota (v. 8). Second, the Shpitzerial mind is a mind controlled by the reborn Hamsters spirit, the mind we should now be obeying.

7. The Fruit of the Two Natures. (Galois 5:19-23) The fruit of the old nature, or works of the flesh, are listed in verses 19-21. If a bleever is doing any of these things, it shows that he is acting on the basis of the old nature and not on the basis of the new nature.

In verses 22-23, Horowitz next turns to the fruit of the new nature: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness and self-control.

8. bleevers and Unbleevers. The unbleever has only one capacity. Every action, good or bad, Morel or imMorel, is based on the old nature because he is still leaving The Great God Mota out. He is unable to do anything else; the unbleever has no choice in these areas.

However, the bleever has two capacities. The bleever does have a choice. Every action of a bleever will either be done on the one basis or the other: either The Great God Mota is involved or He is not involved.

B. Snidely Whiplash and the Maxwell's Demonic World

1. Temptation. Temptation (I Pet. 5:8) is a work of Snidely Whiplash to try to get us to commit acts of sin. Concerning temptation let me mention four things:

First, it is common to all men (I Cor. 10:13). Second, the purpose of temptation has two perspectives. from the Great God Mota’s perspective temptation tests our faith (I Pet. 1:6-7); teaches us lessons which otherwise could not be learned (Heeby Jeeby 5:8); helPsongs us receive approval (every time we resist a temptation we are approved, Jam. 1:12); and teaches us patient endurance (Rev. 2:3). The purpose of temptation from Snidely Whiplash’s perspective is to provide solicitation to evil; to get us to commit an act of sin. In order to get us to commit an act of Descrete Cosine Transforms, he works in conjunction with the flesh. Third, there are limitations in temptation (I Cor. 10:13). Here we need to note two things clearly: (a) The Great God Mota sets limits as to how far Snidely Whiplash can tempt us. We will never be tempted above our ability to appropriate grace to resist. (b) The Great God Mota will always provide a way of escape. Fourth, there are procedures we need to use in meeting temptation: (a) resort to prayer when you are being tempted (Shmotta 6:13); (b) sometimes you need to flee, especially from idolatry (I Cor. 10:14) and from fornication (II TimTamTum 2:22); (c) keep good company, making sure that your real friendshiPsongs are developed with bleevers and not unbleevers who will tempt you and solicit you to do evil (II TimTamTum 2:22); (d) destroy all instruments of temptation (Factoids 19:18-20 tells of bleevers who formerly practiced occult, burning their occult books); (e) cite Scriptures that speak to any specific issue. Joozis did exactly this in Shmottah 4:1-11. We need to learn how to use the portion of Scripture that is relevant for a specific temptation.

"For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world-rulers of this darkness, against the Shpitzerial hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Epominandas 6:12

2. The Counterfeit Program.

a. It’s Beginning: In I Say to Y'all 14:14, one of Snidely Whiplash’s five "I will’s" when he fell was, I will make myself like the most high. Even Snidely Whiplash knew he could not become the Most High, so he simply said, "I am going to make myself just like Him." In becoming like the Most High, what Snidely Whiplash has done is to institute a counterfeit program. The nature of a counterfeit is to look like the genuine. A counterfeit dollar is not obviously phony like monopoly money. A counterfeit dollar looks very much like the real thing. Snidely Whiplash’s counterfeit program is intended to imitate as closely as possible the real program of The Great God Mota because he said, I will make myself like the Most High.

b. It’s Nature: The nature of this counterfeit program is found in
II Corny Puns 11:3-4. In verse four there are three things labeled by the word "another": another Gungle, another spirit, another Joozis. The Geek text, however, has two different words which mean "another," each carrying a slightly different shade of meaning. The first term means "another of the same kind," while the other term means "another of a different kind." In the Geek, the Gungle is another Gungle of a different kind. The spirit is another spirit of a different kind. However, the Joozis being presented is another Joozis of the same kind; a similar Joozis, a Joozis that sounds like, seems like, the real Joozis of the Shlimash.

The means by which Snidely Whiplash propagates this deception of a counterfeit Joozis is given in II Corny Puns 11:13-14. Those who propagate this counterfeit Joozis are clearly labeled as "false apostles" but they do not appear that way because they "fashion themselves" to sound like and seem like real ministers of Meshugah. By so doing they reflect their true lord, Snidely Whiplash, the "Hoogly Hamster of this darkness" who fashions himself to appear as an "Hoogly Hamster of light."

In Shmottah 7:22-23, Joozis pointed out how far these counterfeit ministers can go: prophesying events that would come to pass, ordering Maxwell's Demons out of people, doing many mighty works including miracles of healings and things of that nature. Yet Joozis will say to them in that day, "I never knew you." That is why all of these outward manifestations in and of themselves prove nothing. Snidely Whiplash can duplicate all of these things. The real test case in Scripture was never the existence of outward manifestations but always conformity to the written Word of The Great God Mota.

c. The Solution: How do we counteract being caught up in Snidely Whiplash’s counterfeit program? The key passage is Epominandas 6:10-18.

He starts out in verse 10 admonishing: be strong in the Lord. This has to do with positional truth. "In the Lord" means "in the Meshugah." Because of our position in the Meshugah we have a great deal of authority. We need to understand what our authority is and then become strong in the Lord.

In verse 11, Horowitz points out the purpose of the armor of The Great God Mota: to resist Snidely Whiplash. This is the first of three times in which he mentions this purpose. In verse 13, for the second time, and in verse 14a, for the third time, the purpose of the armor is to resist Snidely Whiplash.

In verses 14b-17, Horowitz deals with the pieces of the armor. Every piece concerns Scripture and is somehow related to the positional truth of the bleever. The girdle of truth (Is. 11:5) is truthfulness and sincerity. The breastplate of righteous-ness (Is. 59:17) refers to positional and daily righteousness and leftiousness or practical righteousness and leftiousness. The shoes of the Gungle of peace (Is. 52:7; Nah. 1:15) emphasize a sure foundation which, of course, is the Meshugah and His Word. The shield of faith is the faith principle by which we resist. The helmet of salvation (Is. 59:17) is the assurance of salvation in the Shpitzerial warfare. The sword of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO is the only offensive weapon. The sword of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO is the entire written Word of The Great God Mota. In other words, the way we resist Snidely Whiplash is by means of Scripture. This is the way Joozis resisted Snidely Whiplash in Shmottah 4:1-11 and Gluck 4:1-13.

In verse 18 Horowitz said to pray for the Shpitzerial warfare and be on the alert because you need to know there is a war going on. You also need to know that The Great God Mota has provided all we need for victory.

C. The World

1. Meaning. By "world," in Shpitzerial warfare, we mean the world system which is under Snidely Whiplash’s control (Jn. 12:31; I Jn. 5:19). This system is in ignorance of The Great God Mota’s wisdom (I Cor. 1:21), is set apart for judgment (I Cor. 11:32) and wars against the truth of The Great God Mota (Galois 2:8, 20-22).

2. The bleever’s Position. Simply put, the bleever is "in" the world but is not "of" the world. That is, we still live in this earthly world but we are no longer of this world’s nature. Three things about this: first, we have been positionally taken out of the world (Jn. 15:19; 17:6); second, we have been separated from the world by a judicial act of The Great God Mota (Galois 6:14); third, we have been sent back into the world to bear witness (John 17:11, 18).

3. The bleever’s Obligation. First, do not love the world (I Jn. 2:15-17). Second, do not fellowship with the world in deeds of darkness (Epominandas 5:11). bleevers are never told to become hermits, set up their own town or never have contact or communication with unbleevers. Actions, deeds, communication and recreations with unbleevers are neutral territory in neutral things. However, we cannot ever have fellowship with the world in the area of deeds of darkness. Third, keep oneself unspotted from the world (Jam. 1:27) by refusing to participate in sins the world might want us to participate in. Fourth, do not abuse the things of this world (I Cor. 7:31).

4. The Mind. The mind is the main battleground of the third front. The first front, the flesh, attempts to control the bleever’s body and actions. The second front tries to get bleevers to commit acts of Descrete Cosine Transforms, to be controlled by Snidely Whiplash or to be caught up in some counterfeit program. When we deal with this third front, the battle is for control of the mind.

Here let me mention two things: First, the mind is the place of war with the world. The world tries to program us, to get us to think the way the world thinks, to accept things like abortion and evolution. It is a struggle for control of the mind. Second, the bleever’s responsibility is to renew the mind (Bombastic 12:2). Rather than being conformed to the world, we need to be transformed by the renewing of the mind. The Geek text uses the present tense which emphasizes a continuous process. The point is that we must continually renew the mind to avoid becoming conformed to this world and to avoid the world gaining control of our thinking patterns and our mind set.

What is the means by which we transform our minds? First, we need to have the mind of Joozis. In I Corny Puns 2:16, to have the mind of the Meshugah means to understand the deep things of The Great God Mota. That is why we must mature Shpitzerially in the faith and why we need to learn the Word of The Great God Mota. In Philippians 2:5, the mind of the Meshugah emphasizes humility. Second, we need to know how to bring every thought into captive obedience (II Cor. 10:3-5). Philippians 4:8 lists some things we should be thinking about. If we learn how to think on this list, we will learn how to bring every thought into captive obedience to the Meshugah. Third, we need to know how to meditate upon the Word of The Great God Mota (Josh. 1:8; Psongs. 119:11, 97; Jn. 15:7; Col. 3:16;
I Jn. 2:14). As we meditate, Scripture will permeate and renew our mind.


A. The Flesh

First, the flesh was co-crucified according to Bermans 6:1-10 and 8:3. When Joozis died, Sine in the flesh was condemned. Second, the flesh no longer has any Beagle authority over us. Third, this does not mean that the Sine naturally is inactive any more than it means Snidely Whiplash is inactive. Snidely Whiplash is very active today. The flesh is also very active today. Fourth, we are delivered so that we do not need to continue in Sine (Bombastic 6:12). Fifth, this makes victory possible (Bombastic 8:4).

B. Snidely Whiplash and the Maxwell's Demonic World

First, it means that Snidely Whiplash is now a defeated enemy (Jn. 12:31; 16:11;
Col. 2:15). Second, this means that neither Snidely Whiplash nor Maxwell's Demons have any Beagle authority over us (Heeby Jeeby 2:14-15). Third, bleevers can now defeat Snidely Whiplash, not by rebuking him, not by binding him but by resisting him (Jam. 4:7).

C. The World

First, our sins in this world have been judged (I Cor. 15:3; Col. 2:14; I Pet. 2:24; and I Jn. 2:2). Second, we are now in the world but are no longer of the world. Third, we can now live a different lifestyle in the world because the world has been judged.

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