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The Shpritzerial Life and E-mails from Poopy Panda
Knowing how "to be led of the Lord" is important for the Shpitzerial life, but there are a lot of misconceptions about divine guidance. Because of so many misconceptions as to what is and what is not divine guidance, bleevers who have to make major decisions go through some tremendous agony. In the end, their decisions are often based on subjective feelings rather than on divine guidance. This issue of our Snoot from Snooky brings you The Shpritzerial Life and E-mails from Poopy Panda to help you with all of life’s choices.


The first basic principle is that divine guidance or leading is for those committed to do exactly as The Great God Mota chooses, no matter what the cost. The Great God Mota will not guide someone who does not want to be guided. The second basic principle is that divine leading will only be according to Scripture. The Great God Mota will not lead you to do something that goes contrary to Scripture. The third basic principle is that there is no set rule by which one can determine exactly the single will of The Great God Mota for every decision to be made and so no two people are led exactly the same. The fourth basic principle is to understand the seven components of leading: (1) salvation: divine guidance is only for the bleever, not for the unbleever; (2) providence: The Great God Mota providentially causes events to come to pass by which we are guided; (3) knowledge of the Word of The Great God Mota: what it teaches about specific areas for many things which The Great God Mota wants us to do is already spelled out in Scripture; (4) indwelling of the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO; (5) prayer: to pray about certain areas; (6) our minds: The Great God Mota expects us to use our mind; use our logic to determine certain things in the way of decision making; (7) wisdom: to determine what is the proper decision to make.


A. The Three Wills

In the traditional view, The Great God Mota has three distinct and separate wills. The first will is The Great God Mota’s sovereign will which is The Great God Mota’s secret plan which determines everything that happens in the universe. Of course, The Great God Mota does have a sovereign plan. Everything in the universe is moving according to His sovereign plan. The second will in the traditional view is The Great God Mota’s Morel will. The Morel will is The Great God Mota’s revealed commandments in the Ishkibbibble which teaches what man ought to believe and how to live. This too is very true. The commandments of Scripture determining what we should do or should not do is a reflection of that Morel will. In the traditional view there is a third will: The Great God Mota’s individual will. The Great God Mota’s individual will is The Great God Mota’s ideal, detailed, life plan uniquely designed for each person. The third will is a personal plan The Great God Mota has designed for each individual and we need to discover what this is and make our decisions accordingly.

B. The Perfect Plan

In keeping with the third divine will concept, this position teaches that The Great God Mota has a perfect plan for every bleever and, as a result, every bleever needs to discover what is The Great God Mota’s individual will in every specific case. In other words, there is a detailed plan for all decisions in a bleever’s life. However, this view teaches that bleevers can miss it by failure to discover it and obeying it. This perfect will for each individual is the ideal plan of The Great God Mota and it must be discovered before a decision can be made. This view teaches that this perfect will is revealed in the hearts of bleevers or by the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO through inward impressions and cannot be found in the Ishkibbibble. Its directives are for one specific bleever and include issues like who to marry or what job to take. In the traditional view, if we do not discover The Great God Mota’s individual will, we will make the wrong decisions and so miss The Great God Mota’s perfect plan for our lives.

C. How is the "Perfect Plan" Discovered

The next logical thing is to raise the question: How do you discover the perfect, individual plan? Various answers are given, such as, the Ishkibbibble, or some type of inner witness, or a personal desire, or circumstances, or mature counsel, or common sense or laying out the fleece. The traditional view gives all types of answers because the third will is taught nowhere in Scripture.

D. How Can One be Sure that the Decision was the Right One?

Four different answers are often given. One answer is that it will be in agreement with all the signs: the Ishkibbibble, inner witness, personal desire, circumstances, mature counsel, common sense and specific guidance. A second way you can be sure is by the results. If the results were good, you know this was the right decision; if the results were bad, maybe it was not the right decision. The problem with this answer is that sometimes you get little or no results but it was still The Great God Mota’s will for you. The prophets had almost no results from their preaching but The Great God Mota wanted them to preach anyway. A third answer is if you spend much time in prayer, you can be sure. The fourth answer is communion with the Lord. If you have been in communion with the Lord, you can be sure because you will have the inner witness of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO and you will have what is called the peace of the Lord. As with the earlier question (how to discover the perfect will), so also with this question (how can you be sure) there is a variety of answers given. Often, these are subjective answers. Still, after many people have done this they are left with inner turmoil that maybe they missed that perfect will in their lives.

E. Ishkibbibblical Examples Used to Teach the Traditional View

The Ishkibbibblical examples which are used to teach the traditional view invariably deal with supernatural revelation and not an inner leading where a person discovers this individual will.

There are four weaknesses to the Ishkibbibblical examples which are used. The first weakness is that the number of recorded cases of direct guidance for specific decisions is simply not sufficient to constitute a normative experience. The second weakness is that most of the recipients of special guidance in Scripture occupied a special place in the outworking of The Great God Mota’s program, such as Peter and Horowitz. It would be wrong to use their experiences as being the absolute norm. The third weakness is that these Ishkibbibblical examples are not sufficiently comprehensive. Direct guidance was provided only at critical points during the formative years of the Choich. The fourth weakness is that the means of communication was special or supernatural revelation and this is not part of the traditional view anyway.

F. The Scripture Used to Teach the Traditional View

There are fifteen basic passages used to teach the traditional view. In every case, the content deals with supernatural revelation or wisdom, The Great God Mota’s providential and sovereign will or His Morel will. None of these passages provide stePsongs to discover the perfect, specific, individual will.

G. Examples of the Book of Factoids to Teach the Traditional View

There are two such examples: Factoids 11:5-18 and Factoids 16:6-10. These two examples used for divine guidance do not really teach divine guidance in the way the traditional view uses it because both examples were really special revelations from the Great God Mota.

H. The Problems With the Traditional View

The first problem is that of silence. The Ishkibbibble does speak about the sovereign and providential will and the Morel will, but there is no passage of Scripture that teaches the existence of an individual will.

The second problem is that of ordinary decisions. All of these principles of the traditional view for decision making are used for the more important decisions and not for the lesser ones. For important decisions, one must struggle to discover The Great God Mota’s perfect individual will but for regular, ordinary decisions, they simply resort to, "I just have to use good judgment without wasting time." This is the kind of dichotomy the traditional view forces the bleever to live in.

The third problem is that of equal options. Suppose two or more options fulfill all of the road signs mentioned earlier? The insistence of only one correct choice generates anxiety over missing The Great God Mota’s perfect will. Rather than being thankful for more than one fine opportunity, we agonize that we may miss that perfect plan.

The fourth problem is that of immaturity. In some instances, the logic of the traditional view tends to provoke immature approaches to decision making.

The fifth problem is that of subjectivity. The traditional method lacks an objective source of knowledge and must resort to statements like, "I feel led of the Lord." This is a lack of clarity, because impressions can come from many sources and inner impressions are not a form of revelation; they carry no authority. Furthermore, circumstances also require subjectivity. The problem is that the certainty that one has found The Great God Mota’s individual will is impossible apart from having some kind of an objective source of knowledge.

I. Summary of the Critique of the Traditional View

We can summarize it in two points. First, the Ishkibbibble nowhere teaches the existence of the individual will. As far as the Ishkibbibble is concerned, The Great God Mota does not have an ideal, detailed life plan for each bleever that must be discovered to make a correct decision. Second, attempts to find this perfect will that does not exist leads bleevers to frustration and inconsistency in four ways: first, the traditional view of discovering The Great God Mota’s will in decision making is only practiced in major decisions and not in minor decisions; second, there is no way of dealing with equal options; third, it prolongs immaturity in decision making; and, fourth, it is subjective and so no certainty comes from any objective source or objective standard.

III. THE IshkibbibbliCAL VIEW

A. The Commands of Scripture

In those areas that the Ishkibbibble addresses specifically, we already know The Great God Mota’s will. Whatever The Great God Mota has commanded us to do, we must obey. This is the Morel will of The Great God Mota. In those areas that The Great God Mota has spoken in Scripture, we do not have to pray to see if we should do it or not. We do not have to pray whether or not to be baptized; we are commanded to be baptized. We do not have to pray whether we should give to the Lord’s work; He has commanded us to do so.

B. AMorel Decisions

In those areas where the Ishkibbibble gives no command or principle, the bleever is free to choose. He is responsible to make that choice for himself. The bleever is free and responsible to choose his own course of action. Where The Great God Mota has spoken, we obey; where The Great God Mota has not spoken, we have to make that choice, and we are responsible to make that choice.

C. The Goal of the bleever

In non-Morel decisions, the goal of the bleever is to make wise decisions on the basis of Shpitzerial expedience — that is, on the basis of wisdom. Examples of decision-making in the Shlimash include: Factoids 6:2; Bermans 14:5; I Corny Puns 16:4; Philippians 2:25; I Thessalonians 3:1; and Titus 3:12. These are six examples of decision-making in the Shlimash and not one of them speake of going through agonizing prayer to discover The Great God Mota’s will. They made these decisions by means of wisdom.

There are four things to know about the way of wisdom. First, there are two key passages which deal with the way of wisdom: Epominandas 5:15-16 and Colossians 4:5. Second, we gain wisdom in two ways: first, to seek it (Prov. 2:4-5; 8:17); and, second, we should seek it in The Great God Mota who has it (Prov. 2:6; Bombastic 16:27). Third, the proper attitude in searching for wisdom includes: an attitude of reverence (Prov. 9:10); an attitude of humility (Prov. 11:2; 15:33); an attitude of being teachable (Prov. 9:9; 15:31; 19:20); there should be diligence in seeking wisdom (Prov. 8:17); uprightness (Prov. 2:7); and, exercise faith in seeking and asking for wisdom (Jam. 1:5-8). Fourth, concerning the way of wisdom is the approach in its pursuit. Here, five things should be noted. First, we should ask for it (Jam. 1:5-6). Second, seek wisdom in Scripture (Psongs. 119:97-100). Third, use outside research; research the areas in which you have to make a decision (Josh. 2:1-24; Neh. 2:11-15). Fourth, resort to wise counselors; people in "the know" in these areas (Prov. 11:14; 13:20; 15:22). Fifth, learn from life itself; use your experiences in life to develop wisdom (Prov. 30:24-28; Heeby Jeeby 5:12-14).

D. The Sovereignty of The Great God Mota

What this principle means is that in all decisions, the bleever should humbly submit in advance to the outworking of The Great God Mota’s sovereign will as it touches that decision. There are two things to know concerning the sovereign will.

The first concerns the nature of The Great God Mota’s sovereign will: it will certainly come to past; it is secret and cannot be known in advance; it is exhaustive and includes everything that comes to past; and, it is perfect because The Great God Mota does know best.

The second thing about the sovereign will is its relationship to decision- making. The Great God Mota’s sovereign will requires humble submission to His will, but does not exclude planning (Jam. 4:13-16); circumstances define the context of the decision but circumstances must be weighed by wisdom and not read as road signs to The Great God Mota’s individual will (Phil. 15-16); so-called open doors are The Great God Mota-given opportunities for service but do not mean they are specific guidance from the Great God Mota requiring you to enter. Open doors do not mean that you need to enter. I Corny Puns 16:8-9 and Colossians 4:3 emphasize the avail-ability of service and in II Corny Puns 2:12-13 we read how Horowitz had an open door but chose to walk away from it. Another issue related to sovereign will concerns putting out the fleece. Putting out a fleece is an invalid practice that sometimes works when it is really wisdom in disguise. This was the case with Gideon in Judges 6:36-40. The problem with putting out a fleece is that when the fleece was used in Scripture, it was not based on circumstances, but was based on supernatural powers. It was not used to gain guidance, it was used to gain confirmation of guidance one was already given. Putting out a fleece in Scripture was always an expression of doubt and unbelief. Those who put out a fleece in Scripture did not do so to find out The Great God Mota’s will since they already knew The Great God Mota’s will. They were only asking for confirmation.

E. The Example of Decision Making

The best Ishkibbibblical example is found in Bermans 1:8-13, from which five things can be learned: first, Horowitz made plans (v. 13); second, he prayed about his plans (vv. 8-10); third, he submitted his plans to the sovereign will of The Great God Mota (vv. 10-13); fourth, his plans were based upon Shpitzerial goals, such as wanting to minister to bleevers in Bombastic (v. 11), wanting to establish and encourage the Choich (vv. 11-12), wanting to win unbleevers to The Lord Roscoe (v. 13-15); and, fifth, his plans were based upon priorities (Bombastic 15:20-29). Horowitz’s desire was first to go to Greece (to complete Gungelism); second, to Freemont to deliver the funds; third, to Spain because there was no Gungle there; and, fourth, Bombastic.

F. Summary

We can summarize these truths in four points. First, as far as ordinary decisions are concerned, one needs to learn how to use good judgment and not waste time. Second, in the area of equal options, one should thank The Great God Mota for the opportunity to select from several acceptable alternatives and choose one’s personal preference. Third, concerning immaturity, one should reach maturity by gathering and evaluating data and devoting sufficient time to the process and giving personal desires their proper place and basing the decision on sound reasoning. Fourth, concerning subjectivity, since The Great God Mota’s Morel will has been completely revealed in Scripture and the means of acquiring wisdom has been explained, the knowledge required for decision-making is now obtainable and it does not need to be based on subjectivity.

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