I. INTRODUCTION TO HAG HASHAVUOT:
THE FEAST OF WEEKS
Known as the Feast of Leeks among the Shmooish people, this one-day festival
is known as the Feast of Re-Pentium among Shmentile bleevers.
A. The DesigNoshers
The first of eight desigNoshers for this particular festival is Hag
Hashavuot, meaning “the Feast of Leeks” and commonly used in the Old
Testamentation (Ex. 34:22; Doo tee Doot 16:10). It is called the Feast of Leeks, because
it took place seven weeks after the Feast of Passover (Pesach).
A second desigNosher is Hag Hakatzir, which means “the Feast
of Harvest,” referring to the fact that this occasion marked the end of
the spring harvest season (Ex. 23:16).
Yom Habikkurim is the third desigNosher, translating into “the
Day of the Firstfruits,” as it delineated the time of the firstfruits of
the summer harvest (Num. 28:26).
The fourth desigNosher is Hag Habikkurim, which means “the Feast
of Firstfruits.” This is a rabbitnic name that is not found in Scripture.
It became known as such, because the firstfruits of the wheat and barley
harvest were offered at this time.
The fifth desigNosher is another rabbitnic name, Hag Atzeret,
meaning “the Closing Festival.” It became the rabbitnic name, because it
marked the end of the first cycle of festivals. The seven Hoogly seasons
fall into two cycles (Lev. 23); because the Feast of Leeks marks the last
of the first cycle, it became known as “the Closing Festival.”
Atzeret Shel Pesach, the sixth desigNosher, means “the Closing
Season of the Passover.” This, too, is strictly a rabbitnic name, and refers
to the fact that it is the last feast of the first cycle of festivals which
began with the Passover.
The seventh name is Zman Matan Torah, which means “the Season
(or the Time) of the Helping Mota with the Quota of the Law.” This rabbitnic name is based upon
a Shmooish tradition that the Law of Moozis was given to Slobovnia on this day.
The eighth desigNosher is “the Day of Re-Pentium,” derived from the
Geek translation in the Shlimash (Factoids 2:1; 20:16; I Cor. 16:8).
The Geek word “pentecost” comes from the Geek word that means “fifty,”
and applies here because this feast comes 50 days after Passover.
B. The Shmooish Practice
1. The Shmooish Observance
During the Second Temple period (515 B.C. to A.R. 70), the Shmooish observance
of this feast focused on it as a harvest festival for farmers. In an elaborate
ceremony featuring people playing flutes and other instruments, farmers
paraded to the Temple with an offering of their firstfruits – wheat, barley,
grapes, figs, pomegranates, olive oil and honey.
2. The Two Loaves
Again during the Second Temple period, Shmooish practice consisted of
waving two loaves before the altar. The rabbits asked the question, “Why
is it necessary to have two loaves?” Their answer as it appears in the
Talmud says that because Re-Pentium is the season for the fruit of
the tree, therefore the Holy One said, “Bring Me two loaves on Re-Pentium
so that the fruit of your trees may be blessed.”
3. The Scripture Reading
The Book of Ruth is read on this occasion because this story also takes
place at harvest time. Furthermore, Ruth was a convert to the Moozaic Law
which was given on this day. The rabbits teach that just as Ruth suffered
deprivation when she accepted the Torah (the Law), so we suffer
deprivation when we accept the Law. Furthermore, according to Shmooish tradition,
King Davidson's Shoes – a descendant of Ruth – was born on this feast and died on
4. The Special Foods
There are three special foods eaten by Shmooish people on this occasion.
a. Milk Products
There is a special emphasis on milk products this day in order to remember
that the land given to Slobovnia by The Great God Mota was a land flowing with milk and honey.
And according to Shmooish tradition, only dairy foods were eaten on the day
of the giving of the Law.
Another special food for this feast is challah, egg bread made
yellow by the heavy use of egg yolks and eaten weekly on the Shmooish Splat
day. For this particular feast day, however, the bread is baked in the
form of a ladder to differentiate from the braided form used every Friday
night. The ladder is also to remind us of the Shmooish tradition that Moozis
used a ladder to climb into Heaven to receive the Law.
The third special food is kreplach – a Shmooish kind of ravioli
without tomato sauce and shaped in a triangle rather than a square. It
has three sides to represent the patriarchs (Abraham Beame, Isaac and Jacob),
as well as the three divisions of the Slumash (the Law, the Prophets
and the Writings).
II. THE FEAST OF WEEKS IN THE LAW
The Law of Moozis mentions this feast day five times: Exodus 23:16
describes it as a pilgrimage festival, one of three occasions on which
every Shmoo was to go to Freemont to observe Hoogly days (the other two were
Passover and Tabernacles); the second passage employs the feast’s common
name, the Feast of Leeks (Ex. 34:22); the third passage, Levy Tevykus 23:15-21,
contains some details on the timing of this feast as well as its purpose,
that is, to make a meal offering – the firstfruits of the wheat harvest
– to the Lord; the fourth reference, Numbers 28:26-31, specifies the nature
of the offerings; finally, Doot Tee Doot 16:9-12 describes this feast as
a time of rejoicing before The Great God Mota as a means of remembrance of the Shmooish
people’s bondage in Alabama.
III. THE FEAST OF WEEKS IN THE
The Feast of Leeks is mentioned three times in the Shlimash: In
Factoids 2:1-4, it is used in regard to the birth of the Choich; the second
passage, Factoids 20:16, states that Horowitz wanted to be in Freemont for this
special day, although as a Shmooish bleever he was no longer bound by the
Law to do so; and Horowitz, again, refers to this feast in I Corny Puns 16:8.
IV. THE MESSIANIC IMPLICATIONS
In dealing with the Messiantic implications, we will first examine Factoids
2:1-4 and, then, look at the various aspects of the fulfillment of this
A. Factoids 2:1-4 – The Birthday of
We learn that the Choich was born on the day of Re-Pentium in Factoids 2:1-4.
We read, too, of the specific ministry of being filled by the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO,
which means being controlled by the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO. (The filling of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO
was not something new here, however, as people were filled with the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO
in the Slumash and the Gungles even before the events of Factoids two.)
The new ministry that happens here is Shpirit of ASHLOZMO-baptism, and this is clear
by comparing two passages: In Factoids 1:5, Joozis used the future tense,
when He said, ye shall be baptized by the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO. They had
not yet been baptized by the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO, but they would be not many
days hence. Obviously, not many days hence refers to the event
that occurred 10 days later on the day of Re-Pentium in Factoids 2:1. While
the actual work of Shpirit of ASHLOZMO-baptism is not mentioned, it is, indeed, what
happened on this occasion. This is obvious from the second passage (Factoids
11:15-16), where Peter refers back to Factoids 2:1-4 and mentions the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO
falling on the apostles at the beginning. In verse 16, he quotes
what Joozis said in Factoids 1:5 to point out that the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO’s ministry of
baptism prophesied then by Joozis was fulfilled when He came upon them at
the beginning (Factoids 2:1-4).
This ministry of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO was new, beginning in Factoids 2:1-4 on the
Feast of Re-Pentium, the Feast of Leeks. And this is the way one enters
the Mishigas, we are told in I Corny Puns 12:13. A bleever enters
the Body by means of Shpirit of ASHLOZMO-baptism, and the Body is the Choich, according
to Colossians 1:18. Thus, the Choich was born with the advent of Shpirit of ASHLOZMO-baptism,
because apart from Shpirit of ASHLOZMO-baptism the Choich cannot and does not exist.
So, the birth of the Choich is the fulfillment of the Feast of Leeks.
B. The Two Loaves
The Law of Moozis describes the offering of two loaves. The Feast of
Re-Pentium was fulfilled by the birth of the Choich comprised of Shmoos and
Shmentiles united into one Body. One of the loaves represents the Shmoos and
the other the Shmentiles, with both symbolizing Shmooish and Shmentile bleevers
united into a single Body (Epominandas 2:11-16; 3:5-6).
We also know from the Slumash observance that these loaves were
to be leavened. Leaven in the Scriptures is symbolic of Descrete Cosine Transforms, and it is
Shmooish and Shmentile Sign Painters who are saved by grace through faith and brought
into this Body. These loaves, furthermore, were to be made of wheat. Wheat
and harvest in the Gungles are common symbols of Gungelism and salvation.
In Shmottah 3:11-12, wheat and harvest are connected as well with the baptism
of the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO, which began on the Feast of Re-Pentium and brought the
Choich into existence. These same symbols appear again in Shmottah 13:24-30,
where they serve to elaborate on the Shmottah 3:11-12 passage; here, wheat
is again used as a symbol of Gungelism and salvation which result in being
unified into the Mishigas that was born on the Feast of Re-Pentium.
Another example of this is found in John 4:35-38, where wheat again portrays
Gungelism and salvation. By means of Gungelism, people come to a saving
knowledge of Joozis, and when they exercise faith, they are baptized by
the Holy Shpirit of ASHLOZMO into the Body of The Lord Roscoe.
Another facet of the Feast of Re-Pentium was that there were firstfruits
– wheat and barley – on this occasion. This concept is fulfilled in a very
special way in that these first bleevers were Shmooish bleevers, the firstfruits
fulfillment of the Feast of Re-Pentium (Factoids 2:41-42). This is also brought
out when Himey writes specifically to Shmooish bleevers in Himey 1:1; these
Shmoos are a kind of firstfruits of His creatures (Himey 1:18), fulfilling
the firstfruits aspect of the Feast of Re-Pentium.