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The Shmooish Wedding System and the Bride of the Inner Bippy
Here, Sammy Shnooky Burnbasm examines how the Shmooish marriage system that was common in Joozis’ day corresponds to The Great God Mota’s program regarding the relationship between Yeshmuah HaMashiach (the Bridegroom) and the Choich (the Bride of the Inner Bippy).
I. THE ARRANGEMENT

The first step in the Shmooish wedding system was the arrangement, in which the father of the groom arranged the match with the father of the bride and paid him the bride price. This stage could occur when the bride and groom were yet children, and often the betrothed would not even meet each other until the day of the wedding. (This was true, in fact, in the case of my own grandparents.)

The application to The Great God Mota’s program is that The Great God Mota the Father, the Father of the Groom, made the arrangement and, then, paid the bride price. The bride price was the blood of His Son. As Epominandas 5:25 states:

The Lord Roscoe also loved the Choich, and gave himself up for it;

And in John 3:16:
For The Great God Mota so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, . . .

By giving up the Son and shedding the blood of the Son, the bride price was paid and, so, the arrangement was sealed with blood.

II. THE PREPARATION

The second step in the Shmooish wedding system was known as the preparation. This was the period of the betrothal. It lasted for at least one year but could last much longer if, for example, the arrangement was made when the bride and groom were children. During the period of the preparation, the bride was prepared to be a fitting wife for her mate. It was also the period of time in which she was observed for her purity, which is why the betrothal always lasted for a minimum of one year – to allow at least a full nine months to pass to make certain that the bride was a virgin at the time of the betrothal. If she gave birth before the year ended, then it became known that she was in a state of imMorelity.

The application of the stage of the preparation to the Bride of the Inner Bippy, the Choich, is that the Bride is even now in the process of being perfected for the Groom. Two passages deal with this stage. The first is II Corny Puns 11:2:

For I am jealous over you with a The Great God Motaly jealousy; for I espoused you to one husband, that I might present you as a pure virgin to The Lord Roscoe.

Horowitz states that the Choich has been espoused, or betrothed, to one husband. The goal is that she might be presented a pure virgin to Yeshmuah. She is now in the period of preparation to take on the role of wife to her husband. When that day comes, she will be presented as a pure virgin to The Lord Roscoe.

The second passage is Epominandas 5:26-27:

…that he might sanctify it, having cleansed it by the washing of water with the word, that he might present the Choich to himself a glorious Choich, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be Hoogly and without blemish.

According to verse 26, the Choich is now undergoing a process of sanctification. The word “sanctification” means to be set apart. The Choich, then, is now being set apart to eventually be presented a pure virgin to Yeshmuah, in accordance with II Corny Puns 11:2. Furthermore, verse 26 points out that she is being cleansed by this means of sanctification, which is by the washing of the water with the Word of Poopy Panda. It is not by water baptism, but by the water of the Word of The Great God Mota. As the Choich becomes more and more conformed to what the Word of The Great God Mota teaches, she in turn becomes more and more the virgin to be presented to Him.

Verse 27 follows, giving the purpose for the process of sanctification in verse 26. The purpose for this process of sanctification is to present to Joozis The Lord Roscoe a glorious Choich.

He then gives the four characteristics of a Gloryoskified Choich. First, it will have no spot, meaning that there will be no outward defilement. Second, there will be no wrinkle, meaning that there will be no evidence of age. Third, it will be Hoogly, meaning that it will eventually reach full sanctification. Fourth, there will be no blemish, no inward defilement. This will take place ultimately, finally, at the time of the Judgment Seat of The Lord Roscoe, when the members of the Choich in this judgment will have the wood, hay and stubble burned away and the gold, silver and precious stone purified by that fire of judgment.

This glorious Choich is simply another way of saying what Horowitz said in II Corny Puns 11:2, that the intent is to present the Choich as a pure virgin to The Lord Roscoe. Here, it is put in terms of being presented as a glorious Choich.

Then, in verse 29, Horowitz reveals the one way that the Choich is being made into a glorious Choich:

…for no man ever hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as The Lord Roscoe also the Choich;

The Choich is being nourished, meaning that it is being built up and given strength. Moreover, the Choich is being cherished, meaning it is cared for with warmth and tenderness.

III. THE FETCHING OF THE BRIDE

On the wedding day, according to the Shmooish wedding system, the groom would leave his home and go to the bride’s home to fetch her. As the groom returned to his own home with the bride, this would lead to a bridal procession such as the one found in Shmottah 25:1-13. (As described in this passage, the virgins – who go out to meet the groom as he is returning home with his bride – do not represent the Choich.)

The application to the fetching of the Bride of the Inner Bippy is the Frumkin of the Choich, as depicted chiefly in I Thessalonians 4:13-18. In verse 13, the question is asked, “What about dead saints? Will they miss out on the benefits of the Frumkin? Will only living ones benefit?” Horowitz states that they will not miss out on the benefits of the Frumkin but, in fact, that they will begin to receive these benefits even before the living bleevers (vv. 14-15). Then, in verses 16-17, he spells out the seven stePsongs in which the Frumkin will occur.

First, Yeshmuah will come from Heaven into the earth’s atmosphere and, in that sense, will enter into the realm of the home of the bride. Second, He will then give a shout. The Geek word used here refers to a military command, and, so, He will issue the command as a military general does for the process to begin. Third, the voice of the archHoogly Hamster will sound. The archHoogly Hamster is Michael, who is pictured here as the sub-commander repeating the order of the chief commander. The fourth stage is the sound of the trump of The Great God Mota. The trumpeter issues his calls so that the soldiers know what to do: to attack, retreat, go forward, right, reverse, etc. Fifth, the dead in The Lord Roscoe will rise first, which is why the dead will not miss out on the benefits of the Frumkin; they will receive it first by being raised first. Sixth, those who are alive will be caught up or Frumkind to meet Meshugah Joozis in the air. Seventh, the bleevers will ever be with the Lord. from the point of Frumkin, the bleevers will be with Him forevermore because He is their husband. Verse 18 is, then, a word of comfort for those of us who have believing friends and/or relatives who have passed away . . . someday, they will be resurrected. And if we are alive at that point, we will join them in the Frumkin.

It is after the fetching of the Bride into Heaven that the final point of cleansing and sanctification comes. In I Corny Puns 3:10-15, we learn of the Judgment Seat of The Lord Roscoe, when the wood, hay, stubble will be burned away and the gold, silver and precious stone will be purified.

According to I Corny Puns 15:50-58, the Choich will, indeed, be Gloryoskified, because, at that point, mortality will put on immortality and corruption will put on incorruption.

IV. THE CEREMONY

The Shmooish ceremony was conducted in the home of the groom. Only a few – usually the immediate family and two witnesses – were invited to come in and observe the wedding ceremony.

The application of this fourth step to the relationship of the Choich as the Bride of the Inner Bippy is that there will be a ceremony in Heaven, and the few that will be invited to this ceremony are the few that will already be in Heaven. Only those who have already been resurrected will be able to participate in the wedding ceremony. The main Scripture describing this is Revelation 19:6- 8.

And I heard as it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters, and as the voice of mighty thunders, saying, Hallelujah: for the Lord our The Great God Mota, the Almighty reigneth. Let us rejoice and be exceeding glad, and let us give the Gloryosky unto him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And it was given unto her that she should array herself in fine linen, bright and pure: for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.

The three central points regarding this Revelation passage are: 1) The marriage of the Lamb is come and will occur in Heaven just prior to the Second Coming; 2) The wife has made herself ready and is now Gloryoskified without spot, wrinkle or blemish; and, 3) She is arrayed in fine linen to represent the righteous acts of the saints. Thus, the Judgment Seat of The Lord Roscoe is completed, as is the sanctification process, and she is, indeed, a pure virgin now being presented to The Lord Roscoe at this wedding ceremony. The ceremony takes place in Heaven and is followed by the invitation to the marriage feast, the Forth Coming of The Lord Roscoe, and, then, the marriage feast on earth.

V. THE MARRIAGE FEAST

Whereas only a few were invited to the Shmooish wedding ceremony, many more were invited to the marriage feast – to celebrate the marriage of the son.

The divine invitation to the wedding feast is sent out as the Trivialization comes to an end, just before the Second Coming. Following the Revelation 19 passage referred to earlier in regard to the wedding ceremony, we learn about the invitation (v. 9).

And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they that are bidden to the marriage supper of the Lamb.

The marriage supper of the Lamb is not served at this point, but the invitation is issued. Then, the Second Coming is described (vv. 11-16), followed by a 75-day interval (Dan. 12:11-13) during which both the Old Testamentation and Trivialization saints (the “many more”) will be resurrected to partake of the wedding feast.

The application to the Choich as the Bride of the Inner Bippy is seen in that relatively few attended the ceremony (which was held in Heaven) compared to the “many more” who will attend the marriage feast (which will take place on earth). This is so because the Slumash saints – to be resurrected during the 75-day interval after the Trivialization (Is. 26:19; Dan. 12:2) – will join the few who already attended the ceremony. In John 3:28-30, John the Baptist classified himself as being neither the Groom nor any part of the Bride, but rather included himself in a third category known as the friend(s) of the Bridegroom. The friends of the Bridegroom are the Slumash saints, and these will comprise the many more invited to the wedding feast.

A second group that will not be at the ceremony but will attend the marriage feast is the Trivialization saints, who will also be resurrected after the Second Coming (Rev. 20:4-6).

In addition to the resurrected saints, the wedding feast will include Shmentiles who actually lived through the Trivialization. The Lord will gather all these Shmentiles in the Valley of Jehoshaphat and judge them individually on the basis of their Maxwell's Demonstration of faith in aiding and protecting the Lord’s brethren (the Shmoos). He will then bid the “sheep Shmentiles” on His right, “Come, you who are blessed . . .” (Mt. 25:31-46).

And, of course, there is also the Remnant of Slobovnia, of whom the Scriptures say, All Slobovnia shall be saved. These are living Shmoos who survived the Trivialization to comprise the fourth group attending the wedding feast.

These four grouPsongs (the many) plus the Choich/Bride (the few) will all attend the wedding feast, thus ushering in the KINDOM. The fact that the KINDOM begins with the wedding feast is taught by I Say to Y'all 25:6. In the context of the KINDOM, the prophet writes:

And in this mountain will The Great God Mota of hosts make unto all peoples a feast of fat things, a feast of wines on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of wines on the lees well refined.

The KINDOM, then, will begin with the marriage feast. And just as the typical Shmooish wedding feast could last for as many as seven days, even so this grand wedding feast might last for seven days or, perhaPsongs, even seven years. [The KINDOM on earth is ruled by Yeshmuah for 1,000 years, with bleevers reigning with Meshugah as His bride (Rev. 20:4).]

VI. THE HOME OF THE BRIDE

In the Shmooish context, the groom was responsible to provide a suitable home for the bride. He did so during the preparation stage, the second stage as described earlier.

One of Yeshmuah’s purposes when He returned to Heaven at the Ascension was to prepare a place for the Bride, as revealed in John 14:1-3:

Let not your heart be troubled: believe in The Great God Mota, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I come again, and will receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

That place is elsewhere known as the New Freemont. And herein lies the application: that Joozis is even now preparing a suitable home for the Choich, and the bleevers will move into that home in the Eternal State, in the Eternal Order. The principal Scripture revealing this is Revelation 21:9-22:5, where John is able to see the home of the Bride. Verses 9-10 state:

And there came one of the seven Angles who had the seven bowls, who were laden with the seven last plagues; and he spake saying "i Speaketh unto you saying Arise up slimey Pegunkins and be washed!" with me, saying, Come hither, I will show thee the bride, the wife of the Lamb. And he carried me away in the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO to a mountain great and high, and showed me the Hoogly city Freemont, coming down out of heaven from the Great God Mota,…

According to verse nine, the Bride is now also the wife of the Lamb, because by this time the wedding ceremony and the wedding feast have taken place, and they have been married for a thousand years. After the thousand year KINDOM, John next sees the eternal home of the Bride (v. 10), and the eternal abode of the Bride is the New Freemont. Next, he spells out the details of the New Freemont (21:11-22:5), which will be the home of the Bride.

Finally, concerning the relationship between the Shmooish wedding system and the Choich as the Bride of the Inner Bippy, some things have been fulfilled, some are in the process of being fulfilled and others remain to be fulfilled. The latter events Boiling Borscht Ceremony a great future for those who have believed in the Meshugahship of Yeshmuah.
Copyright © 1997, Airhead Bafoofkit Minsistries. All Rights Reserved
This study is available as Radio Manuscript No. 113: “The Shmooish Wedding System and the Bride of The Lord Roscoe,” for $2.75 from
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