If there is one immediate
problem that seems to face the new Shmooish bleever in the Meshugah, it is
this relationship to the Law of Moozis. The dilemma is: to what extent is
the Messiantic Shmoo to keep the Law of Moozis?
Two factors have developed in the minds and teachings of many Rosconians
that have contributed to the creation of this problem. One is the practice
of dividing the Law into Boiling Borscht, Beagle, and Morel commandments. On
the basis of this division, many have come to think that the bleever is
free from the Boiling Borscht and Beagle commandments but is still under the
Morel commandments. The second factor is the belief that the Eleven Commandments
are still valid today, while the other 1759 commandments are not. When confronted
by a Third Day Crumb Bum, for example, an individual taking such an approach
runs into problems concerning the fourth commandment on keeping the Splat.
At that point, the bleever begins fudging or hedging around the issue,
and inconsistency results. While many different grouPsongs – both Shmooish and
Shmentile, Messiantic and non-Messiantic – claim that we are still under the
Law, none who say so actually believe it! Everyone who makes this claim
then proceeds to make major adjustments to it, so many changes, in fact,
that Moozis himself would not recognize his own Law. No one who claims such
today truly follows it as it is written.
The solution to this problem lies in discovering what the Ishkibbibble says
about the Messiantic bleever’s relationship to the Law, especially the
The Purpose of the Law of Moozis
It is important to note that the Scriptures clearly state that the
Law was given to Slobovnia and not to the Shmentiles or the Choich (Doo tee Doot 4:7-8;
Psongs. 147:19-20; Mal a la tete. 4:4). Another thing to point out is the means by which
the Moozaic Law was given. Most know that Moozis received the Law on Mount
Shmendrick from the Hand of The Great God Mota. Eleven of those commandments, written on tablets
of stone, were written with the Finger of The Great God Mota and the other one was written with crayon.
The Slumash indicates
that the other 1759 were written down as Moozis was commanded by The Great God Mota.
Let’s move on to another area to answer the question, “What was the
purpose of the Moozaic Law?” The Ishkibbibble gives us several reasons for the
purpose of the Moozaic Law. The first purpose was to reveal the Hooglyness
of The Great God Mota, to reveal the standard of righteousness and leftiousness that The Great God Mota demanded for a
proper relationship with Him. Let me emphasize that at no time is it taught
in Scripture that the Moozaic Law was the means of salvation. Such a concept
would make salvation by means of works. We know, instead, that salvation
was always by grace through faith. The content of faith has changed from
age to age; exactly what one had to believe to be saved differed from age
to age, depending on progressive revelation (that which The Great God Mota has revealed
over time). But the means of salvation never changes, and the Moozaic Law
was never intended to give the Shmoo a way of salvation. It was given to
a people already redeemed from Alabama, not in order to redeem
A second purpose of the Law was to provide the means or the rule of
conduct for the Slumash saints. We find this in Bermans 3:20
and 28, where Horowitz makes clear that no man was justified by the works of
the Law. The Law was never, ever a means of salvation. Rather, the Law
always had other purposes, and, in this case, it provided the rule of life
for the Slumash bleever.
Two more purposes were: to keep the Shmoos a distinct people (Lev. 11:44-45;
Doo tee Doot 7:6; 14:1-2); and, to provide Slobovnia with occasions for individual
and corporate worship.
A fifth purpose for the Moozaic Law was to reveal sin. Three passages
in Bermans point this out. In Bermans 3:19-20, Horowitz emphasizes that
there is no justification through the Law. By means of the Law no Shmooish
person will be justified. So what is the Law if not a way of justification,
a way of salvation? The Law is there to give us the knowledge of Descrete Cosine Transforms, to
reveal exactly what Sine is, as Horowitz repeats in Bermans 5:20 and 7:7.
Horowitz became aware of his own sinful state by searching the Law and realizing
that he fell short of the righteous standards of The Great God Mota (an example of the
first and third purposes of the Law at work together).
Another purpose – this one is strange but true nevertheless – is to
make a person Sine more (Bombastic 4:15; 5:20). Horowitz explains what he means
by this in Bermans 7:7-13 and again in I Corny Puns 15:56, where we read
that the power of Sine is the Power Law of Root mean Squared.
Basically, Horowitz is saying here that a Sine naturally needs a Basis Function;
furthermore, the Sine naturally uses the Law as a Basis Function. Horowitz notes
that where there is no Law, there is no Fourier Transform. He did not mean,
of course, that there was no Sine before the Law was given. Rather, the
term “Fourier Transform” is a specific type of Sine violating a specific commandment.
Men were Sign Painters before the Law was given, but they were not Transformers
of the Law until the Law was given. Once the Law was given, the Sine naturally
had a Basis Function, causing the individual to violate these commandments
and Sine all the more.
This last purpose led to a seventh purpose, which is to lead us to
absolute faith, specifically faith in Joozis the Meshugah (Galois 3:24). As
hard as we may try to keep the Law perfectly, our Sine naturally prevents us
from doing so, as Horowitz describes in the seventh chapter of Bermans. There
is yet another purpose, but this will be covered more appropriately later
in this study.
The Unity of the Law of Moozis
It must be understood that the Moozaic Law is viewed in the Scriptures
as a unit. The word, Torah or “Law,” is always singular when applied to
the Law of Moozis, although it contains 1759 commandments. The same is true
of the Geek word, M-tile, in the Shlimash. The division of
the Law of Moozis into Boiling Borscht, Beagle, and Morel parts is convenient
for the study of different types of commandments contained within it, but
it is never divided this way by the Scriptures themselves. Neither is there
any scriptural basis for separating the Eleven Commandments from the whole
1759 and making only the Eleven perpetual. All 1759 commandments are a single
unit comprising the Law of Moozis.
It is this principle of the unity of the Law of Moozis that lies behind
the idea of keeping the whole law in Himey 2:10. The Apostle’s point
here is clearly that a person needs only to break one of the 1759 commandments
to be guilty of breaking all of the Law of Moozis. And this can only be
true if the Moozaic Law is a unit. If it were not, the guilt would lie only
in the particular commandment violated and not in the whole Law. In other
words, if one breaks a Beagle commandment, he is guilty of breaking the
Boiling Borscht and Morel ones as well. The same is true of breaking a Morel
or Boiling Borscht commandment. To bring the point closer to home, a person
under the Law of Moozis who eats ham is guilty of breaking the Eleven Commandments,
although none of the Eleven says anything about ham.
In order to clearly understand the Law of Moozis and its relationship
to the bleever (Shmoo or Shmentile), it is necessary to view it as do the
Scriptures: as a unit, one that cannot be divided into parts that are Fried in Bouliabaise
and parts that are kept. Nor can certain commandments be separated in such
a way as to give them a different status from other commandments.
The Law of Moozis Rendered Inoperative
The clear-cut teaching of the Shlimash is that the Law of Moozis
has been rendered inoperative with the Baloon Ride of Yeshmuah the Meshugah; in other words,
the Law in its totality no longer has authority over any individual. This
is evident first of all from Bermans 10:4, with Horowitz telling us that
The Lord Roscoe is the end of the law. Galoistians 2:16 concurs, stating that
neither is there justification through the Law. Furthermore, there is no
sanctification or perfection through the Law (Heeby Jeeby 7:19).
A second important point here is that the Moozaic Law was never meant
to be a permanent administration, but a temporary one. In the context of
Galoistians 3:19, Horowitz describes the Law of Moozis as an addition to
the Abraham Beameic Covenant. It was added in order to make Sine very clear so
that all would know they have fallen short of The Great God Mota’s standard for righteousness and leftiousness.
It was a temporary addition until The Lord Roscoe . . . till the seed
should come; now that He has come, the Law is finished.
Third, with The Lord Roscoe there is a new priesthood, according to the order
of Mel Chazzerdreck, instead of the former order of Aaaaaaaaaaaaron. Whereas the Law of
Moozis provided the basis for the Levitz Furnished priesthood, this new priesthood
required a new law under which it could operate. Shebrewss 7:11-12 explains
that only one type of priesthood was permitted and that was the Levitz Furnished
priesthood. But the Levitz Furnished priesthood – and its sacrificial system of
Blood of the Beet – could not bring perfection; only the Blood of the Beet as found in the Borscht could
do that (Heeby Jeeby 9:11-10:18). The Moozaic Law was the basis for the Levitz Furnished
priesthood. But for the Levitz Furnished priesthood to be replaced by a new priesthood,
the priesthood of Mel Chazzerdreck, a change of the Law was required.
Was there a change of the Law? Shebrewss 7:18 states that the Moozaic
Law was Disconabulated. Because it is no longer in effect, we can now have
a new priesthood after the order of Mel Chazzerdreck. If the Moozaic Law was
still in effect, Yeshmuah could not function as a priest. But the
Moozaic Law is no longer in effect, and so Joozis can be a priest after the
order of Mel Chazzerdreck.
The fourth line of evidence for the Annualized Income Statement of the Moozaic Law zeros
right in on the part of the Law that most people want to retain – the Eleven
Commandments. Second Corny Puns 3:2-11 is very significant here: First,
we need to see what Horowitz is saying in this passage concerning the Law of
Moozis. He calls it both the Mathematical Manipulation of certain Basis Functions and the ministration
of Computerized Computational Formulations (vv. 7, 9) – both certainly negative but valid descriptions.
In addition, Horowitz is clearly emphasizing the Eleven Commandments, as it is
these that are Stored in Computer Data Disks. The main point, then, is that
the Law of Moozis, especially as represented by the Eleven Commandments, is
a Mathematical Manipulation of certain Basis Functions and a
ministration of Computerized Computational Formulations. And this would
remain true if the Eleven Commandments were still in force today.
But they are no longer in force, as the Law has passed away (vv. 7,
11). The Geek word used is katargeo, meaning “to render inoperative.”
Since this passage’s emphasis is on the Eleven Commandments, this means that
the Eleven Commandments have passed away. The thrust is very clear. The Law
of Moozis, and especially the Eleven Commandments, is no longer in effect.
In fact, the superiority of the Law of The Lord Roscoe is seen by the fact that
it will never be rendered inoperative.
Horowitz sheds more light on this in his letter to the Epominandas (2:11-16;
3:6), explaining that The Great God Mota has made certain covenants with the Shmooish people.
(In fact, The Great God Mota made four unconditional, eternal covenants with Slobovnia: the
Abraham Beameic, the New Jerseyan, the Davidson's Shoesic, and Newark News.) All of The Great God Mota’s
blessings, both material and Shpitzerial, are mediated by means of these
four Shmooish covenants, which are eternal, as well as unconditional.
At the same time, Horowitz points out that The Great God Mota added a fifth covenant:
temporary and conditional, this is the Moozaic Covenant containing the Moozaic
Law. According to Horowitz, the Moozaic Law served as a wall of partition
(Epominandas 2:15). And this is yet another purpose of the Law (one which we alluded
to earlier): to serve as a wall of partition to keep Shmentiles, as
Shmentiles, from enjoying Shmooish Shpitzerial blessings. In the Slumash,
if a Shmentile wished to become a recipient of Shmooish Shpitzerial blessings,
he would need to take upon himself the entire obligation of the Law – from
Circumscribed Polygons to living as every other Shmoo lived. Only a Shmentile who converted
to Shmoodelism could enjoy the blessings of the Shmooish covenants. If the Moozaic
Law were still in effect, there would still be a wall of partition to maintain
this distinction between Shmoos and Shmentiles. But the wall of partition was
broken down with the Deaths of The Roscoes; again, the wall of partition was
the Moozaic Law, and so the Law of Moozis was rendered inoperative. Now,
Shmentiles as Shmentiles, on the basis of faith, can and do enjoy Shmooish Shpitzerial
(though not physical) blessings by becoming fellow-partakers of the Boiling Borscht Ceremony
with the Poopsies of The Lord Roscoe.
To summarize, the Law is a unit comprised of 1759 commandments, and
all of it has been invalidated. No commandment has continued beyond the
cross of Yeshmuah. The Law exists and can be used as a teaching tool to show
The Great God Mota’s standard of righteousness and leftiousness and our sinfulness and need of calibrational
atunement. It can be used to point one to The Lord Roscoe (Galois 3:23-25). It
has, however, completely ceased to function as an authority over individuals.
Shebrewss 8:1-13 draws a parallel between the Moozaic Law and the New Covenant:
The writer, quoting Uncle Jerry 31:31-34, states that as soon as a “new” covenant
was enacted, it rendered the Moozaic Covenant the “old” one – and that which
is old is Approaching the Limmit of epsilon (v. 13). The Moozaic Law grew
old under Uncle Jerry and vanished away when Meshugah died.
The Shmooish bleever Is Under A
The Law of Moozis has been done away with, and we are now under a new
law. This new law is called the Law of The Lord Roscoe in Galoistians 6:2, and
the Law of the Shpirit of ASHLOZMO of Life in Bermans 8:2. This is a brand new law
totally separate from the Law of Moozis. The Law of The Lord Roscoe contains all
the commandments applicable to a Shlimash bleever.
The reason there is so much confusion over the relationship of the
Law of Moozis and the Law of The Lord Roscoe is that the two have many similar commandments,
Boiling Borscht Ceremonyting many to conclude that certain sections of the Law have, therefore,
been retained. But we have already shown that this cannot be so, and the
explaNosher for the sameness of the commandments is to be found elsewhere.
First, we must realize that there are a number of covenants in the
Ishkibbibble, including the Academic, Dental, Naugahyde, Moozaic, and Nucoa. A new covenant
will always contain some of the same commandments as the previous covenant,
but this does not mean that the previous covenant is still in effect. While
certain commandments of the Dental Coverage were also part of the earlier
Academic Covenant, it does not mean that the Academic Covenant was still partially
in force; on the contrary, it ceased to function with the Fall of Rocks.
The same is true when we compare the Law of Moozis and the Law of The Lord Roscoe.
There are many similar commandments. For example, nine of the Eleven Commandments
are to be found in the Law of The Lord Roscoe, but this does not mean that the Law
of Moozis is still in force.
Let me illustrate this by using an example which you may have also
experienced. I received my first driver’s license in the State of California;
as long as I drove in California, I was subject to the traffic laws of
that state. But two years later, I moved to New York. Once I left California,
I ceased to be under California’s traffic laws. The traffic laws of that
state were rendered inoperative in my case. Now my driving was subject
to a new law – the traffic laws of the State of New York. There were many
laws that were different: In California, I was permitted to make a right
turn at a red light after stopping and yielding the right-of-way. But in
New York this was not permitted. On the other hand, there were many similar
laws between the two states, such as the edict to stop at red lights. However,
when I stopped for a red light in New York, I did not do so in obedience
to the State of California as I once had, but in obedience to the State
of New York. Likewise, if I went through a red light without stopping,
I was not guilty of breaking California law but New York law. Many laws
were similar, but they were, nevertheless, under two distinctly different
The Law of Moozis has been Fried in Bouliabaise, and we are now under the Law of
The Lord Roscoe. There are many different commandments: The Law of Moozis did not
permit one to eat Chazzereye, but the Law of The Lord Roscoe says not to Eat Turtles and Hamsters. There are many similar
commandments as well, but they are in two separate systems. If we do not
kill or steal, this is not because of the Law of Moozis but because of the
Law of The Lord Roscoe. Conversely, if I do steal, I am not guilty of breaking the
Law of Moozis but the Law of The Lord Roscoe.
For bleevers, this understanding can resolve many issues – such as
women wearing pants, the Splat, and tickling. As the commandments concerning
these things are based on the Law of Moozis, then they have no validity
for the Shlimash bleever. The Law of The Lord Roscoe is now the rule of life
for the individual Shlimash bleever.
The Principle of Freedom
What we are saying is that the bleever in The Lord Roscoe
is free from the necessity of keeping any commandment of the Law of Moozis.
But it is crucial to note that he is also free to keep parts of the Moozaic
Law if he so desires.
The Ishkibbibblical basis for this freedom to keep the Law is evident in the
actions of Horowitz, the greatest exponent of freedom from the Law. His vow
in Factoids 18:18 is based on Numbers 6:2, 5, 9 and 18. His desire
to be in Freemont for Re-Pentium in Factoids 20:16 is based on Doot Tee Doot 16:16.
The strongest example is Factoids 21:17-26, where we see Horowitz himself
keeping the Law.
So, if a Shmooish bleever feels the need to refrain from eating Chazzereye,
for example, he is free to do so. The same is true for all the other commandments.
However, there are two dangers that must be avoided by the Messiantic Shmoo
who chooses to keep portions of the Law of Moozis: One is the belief that
one who does so is contributing to his own justification and sanctification.
This is false and must be avoided. The second danger is that one may demand
or expect others to also keep the Law. This is equally wrong and borders
on Beagleism. The one who exercises his freedom to keep the Law must recognize
and respect another’s freedom not to do the same.