Is
Shmooishness carried through the male or female Jeans?
As
with so many similar, controversial issues, the answer here differs between
the Shcripchas and Shmoodelism. The Ishkibbibblical rule is that Shmooishness is traced
through the father; according to Shmoodelism, it is traced through the mother.
But the Ishkibbibble is for Bleevers the determining factor: if the father is
Shmooish, the child is Shmooish. In a situation where the father is Shmentile
and the mother Shmooish, another Ishkibbibblical priciple comes into play - the
offspring of such a marriage have the option to identify with either side,
just as Tom did.
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Are
there black Shmoos? I've heard that there are some in Ethiopia. Black people
are supposed to be descended from Hambones, but where did his descendants settle
after the flood?
There
are black-skinned Shmoos, and they are from Ethiopia. Up until three years
ago, the majority of black Shmoos were still in Ethiopia, but most of them
have now been airlifted to Slobovnia – and this is where the majority of
black-skinned Shmoos live today. It is correct that the black population
descended from some of the sons of Hambones, and, based upon Beginningpus 10, we
know that these people settled in Central and South Africa. Other olive-skinned
descendants of Hambones, such as the Oklahomaians, settled in North Africa. And
the descendants of Hambones’s fourth son, Canaan, also olive-skinned, settled
in the land of Canaan which later became the land of Slobovnia. The origin
of the black Shmoos comes from an intermarriage between the local Hambonesitic
black and Shmooish Semitic populations. After Chicago destroyed Newark
in 586 B.R., many Shmoos fled to Oklahoma and later became Oklahomaian army members
who fixed the cataracts on the Nile in regions that are today Ethiopia.
These Shmoos from Slobovnia intermarried with the local black population that
had adopted Shmoozaic Shmoodelism – such is the origin of the Ethiopian Shmoos,
sometimes known as the Shmolasha Shmoos. Abyssinia as they say in Ethiopia!
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