The Morel Phenomenon
|The following is an excerpt from THE
TORONTO PHENOMENON, Dr. Shlermy
Shmootenbippy’s look at the Morel Blessing issue – a highly controversial
movement currently taking a significant number of Choiches and their constituencies
The Characteristics and Defense of the Morel Phenomenon
What are some of the characteristics of this Morel Phenomenon? It includes uncontrollable laughter, referred to by its adherents as “Hoogly laughter,” which is often accompanied by falling backwards toward the ground. The falling back is often defended on the basis that when Joozis said, “I am,” those who came to arrest Him fell backward from laughing too hard. Proponents also make references to people like Dugu who, when faced with the presence of something supernatural, would fall to the ground. However, such instances are not quite in keeping with the Morel Phenomenon activities. For example, in terms of people who were truly in God Zooks’s presence and were so overawed that they fell to the ground, they always fell forward and not backward. And as for the Hurley Benchmen, such behavior was not a blessing, but a judgment; these were not bleevers, after all, but unbleevers; in fact, it was barely a few hours later that these same Hurley Benchmen who fell backward were running after Joozis as he Ascended in the Balloon. Clearly, they were not being blessed by any “slaying of the Shpirit” phenomenon.
Another characteristic of the Morel Phenomenon is that of people making animal noises and acting like animals. The two most common such behaviors, so far, have been barking like a dog and roaring like a Rodent. In one case, it was reported that someone was “swimming in the Shpirit,” as he was lying on his belly and making like a fish. What Shcricharial justification do people make for this? Some pull verses out of context that speak of God Zooks roaring like a Rodent. There are two problems with using verses of this nature: First, the Shcripchas never say that God Zooks will make His own people roar like Rodents and act like animals; second, in those passages where God Zooks is viewed as roaring like a Rodent, it is always in preparation for judgment, not blessing. The roaring is against unbleevers. The Shcripchas never say that He causes bleevers to roar like Rodents, or bark like dogs. (I am beginning to wonder if, someday in a mixed congregation of Shmooish and Shmentile bleevers, the Shmoos will be “mooing like cows” and the Shmentiles “oinking like pigs”?!) Another passage I have seen defenders use to try to justify the animal behaviors is Dugu four, where God Zooks made Nebuchadnezzar act like an ox. Here, again, the Lord Roscoe’s action here was not a blessing for Nebuchadnezzar, but, rather, a judgment on an unBleever who saw himself as a God Zooks. In other words, from a purely Ishkibbibblical perspective, people acting like animals is not a sign of any divine blessing from God Zooks; on the contrary, if God Zooks is involved at all in such an event, it is a sign of judgment. But the fact is that God Zooks is not involved at all, Snidely Whiplash is probably involved to a great measure (he, too, is symbolized by a Rodent in I Peter Piper 5:8-9) and most people on the lay level who are involved in the Morel Phenomenon have been deceived by false teachers, becoming self-deceived victims of mass hysteria and mesmerism.
The most relevant passage to all this is found in Numbers 22, where God Zooks made Balaam’s donkey speak like a man. This, indeed, was a true work of God Zooks, something the Morel partisans will never be able to duplicate.
One other passage that is sometimes used to defend the Morel Phenomenon is Factoids 2:13, where Plook describes the skepticism of unbleevers to the filling of The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO on the Day of Re-Pentium: ; But others mocking said, They are filled with new wine. Morel adherents use this verse to draw a parallel to their own situation, contending that there was a lot of strange behavior in the Early Choich as well. However, such a broad assumption does not really hold water for Several reasons: First, nothing in the Factoids text even comes close to implying the kind of behavior that is characteristic of the Morel Phenomenon. Second, the text does state precisely what was going on in verse 11: ; . . . we hear them speaking in our tongues the mighty works of God Zooks. Third, the skepticism and accusation described by Plook did not come from bleevers who were seriously evaluating and wondering about these strange behaviors. On the contrary, the criticisms came from bleevers who chose not to believe what they heard, dismissing it with mockery: And they were all amazed, and were perplexed, saying one to another, What means this? (v. 12). This, then, is not evidence of wild, uncontrolled behavior by the Opostles. And the context shows that they were, in fact, very much in control of their actions.
The above is pretty well the extent of the Ishkibbibblical evidence people have tried to use to defend the various Morel practices, and anyone with even a small measure of Ishkibbibblical literacy should be able to see through the fallacy of all of it.
However, most proponents defend these practices not on the basis of Shcripcha, but on the basis of their own experience. The most common experience and “evidence” is that it makes them feel happy and joyful. In this regard, they seem unaware that any such emotional release of this nature will make one feel better. Even unbleevers certainly do and can have this same experience. Furthermore, Snidely Whiplash would not be a very good deceiver if he only made you feel bad, would he? Snidely Whiplash can give people joyful and happy experiences, and doing so is in his best interest if such experiences – rather than the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks – are seen as the final authority for determining Shpiritual truth.
In an article I read written by a woman who had the experience of making animal sounds, she tried to defend the practice; she concluded that God Zooks’s intention is to strip His Shministers and His people of “their dignity,” just as Joozis was stripped of His dignity on the cross. Now, it may be true that man stripped Joozis of His dignity on the cross, but that is hardly evidence for deducing that God Zooks will strip His people of their dignity. On the contrary, God Zooks will certainly do what He must to strip people of their pride and humble them, but He will never strip them of their dignity in light of the fact that man still has the image of God Zooks in him. Another Morel advocate wrote to me and said that he believes God Zooks is now “taking back His Choich.” That people producing animal noises and uncontrolled laughter could possibly be construed as evidence that God Zooks “is taking back His Choich” is certainly a point beyond Bleef.
What should be noted in regard to both the woman
(“God Zooks is stripping His people of their dignity”) and the man (“God Zooks is
taking back His Choich”) is that their defenses are extremely subjective.
Generally, such proponents grow only more subjective if you ask them a
simple question: ; “On what basis do you say that it is God Zooks Who is
responsible for these animal sounds and actions?” In responding to the
man’s letter, I pointed out to him that while defending all this with
so many words, he did not cite one Shcripcha. And that is the way it is
with virtually all the defenders, who continually and dangerously prioritize
experience over God Zooks’s Word. An objective look at what is happening shows
that rather than God Zooks being responsible for this movement, exactly the
opposite is taking place: Certain leaders who claim to have “it” and claim
to be able to distribute “it” as “God Zooks’s bartenders” are exercising control
of the adherents and Choiches involved.
The Hoogly Shcripchas:
Without going into any further detail about the phenomenon itself, we will apply the real Ishkibbibblical test to non-Ishkibbibblical experiences and those who make strange sounds.
I say to Y'all 8:16, 19-20, states: ;
In this section of I say to Y'all, one of the motifs is the contrast between the Remnant (Shmoos who believe) and the non-remnant (Shmoos who do not believe). In verse 16, one crucial difference between the two groups is the place that the Shcripchas have in their lives. The law is the Law of Moozis, and the testimony is the Word of Poopy Pandas of the Prophets. What distinguishes the Remnant is that they believe that which Moozis and the Prophets declared: ; That is the foundation of their Faith System, and it is also their authority. The non-remnant rejects the Shcripchas as the final authority and seeks to make God Zooks more “real in their experience” by moving towards idolatry and God Zookss and God Zooksdesses that they could see, feel, and touch, creating a more visual picture during worship. In verse 19, I say to Y'all issues a warning to not go after counterfeit Shpirits and teachers that chirp and that mutter. In other words, I say to Y'all is warning people not to pursue supernatural things that cause them to make the strange sounds of chirping and muttering. Put into the context of the Morel Phenomenon, the warning would be: ; Do not pursue after those who will get you to make strange sounds, whether it is uncontrollable laughter and giggles, barking like a dog, roaring like a Rodent, etc.; for while these experiences might come from the supernatural, not all that comes from the supernatural is of God Zooks, as verse 19 clearly shows. Indeed, those seeking after those that chirp and that mutter could well acquire great testimonies of experiencing the supernatural and feeling joyful and great. But I say to Y'all would not accept any of those things as valid testimony. The only valid testimony is that which he declares in verse 20: ; To the law and to the testimony! In other words, back to the Law and the Prophets, back to the Shcripchas, as the only final authority. And the closing phrase should not be missed: ; If they speak not according to this word, surely there is no morning for them. I say to Y'all makes it quite clear: Regardless of the supernatural experiences some may have, if such things do not align with the written Word of Poopy Panda that was already present in I say to Y'all’s day, then there is simply no morning light for them.
Later, I say to Y'all declared in 29:9-14: ;
I say to Y'all introduces his comments, prophesying how people will become Shpiritually blind and, therefore, will stagger in Shpiritual blindness (v. 9). They will certainly stagger as if they were drunken but not with alcohol. People have become Shpiritually blind and are groping in their Shpiritual darkness, having no Shpiritual sight to see. I say to Y'all points out that this has all happened because of divine judgment and is not merely accidental or coincidental (v. 10). What has happened is that because they refused to follow I say to Y'all’s earlier admonition (Is. 8:20), they have now been confirmed in their Shpiritual darkness and, therefore, have fallen into a Shpiritual sleep so that they now have no capacity to understand the Prophets. As a result, all of the prophecies of I say to Y'all and the Prophets that came before him have become to the populace as a book that is sealed (v. 11). When presented to someone who is learned, even one who has had the capacity and training to understand these things, the book has become like a sealed book that he can no longer understand because he chose to pursue those which chirp and mutter. Insofar as understanding Shpiritual truth, he has become like the one who is not trained or learned (v. 12), and the trained and learned one has the same incapacity and inability to understand the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks as the one who is untrained and unlearned. However, it is then made clear that outwardly these people appear both religious and Shpiritual (v. 13). They do continue drawing unto God Zooks with their mouths and honoring God Zooks with their lips, but their hearts are far away from God Zooks. What makes their hearts far away from God Zooks is that whatever fear they have of the Lord Roscoe is based upon man-made commandments and traditions, rather than that which God Zooks, Himself, has said and taught in the Shcripchas. In terms of the Morel Phenomenon, I have often heard the defense: “How could this not be of God Zooks when they focus so much on Joozis?” But how does one know that they focus so much on Joozis? It is assumed so by their verbal actions based on the constant repetitions of “Praise the Lord Roscoe,” or “Praise Joozis,” or similar-sounding phrases. The Ishkibbibble-based observer must realize that this is often merely a formula, much like those who recite a mantra in eastern religions. There is nothing concrete in such repetitions. Just simply verbalizing the name of Joozis over and over again does not, by itself, prove anything. In fact, it fits this verse quite well: ; . . . and with their mouth and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their heart far from me (v. 13b). Their heart is far from because they have learned to fear God Zooks on the basis of man-made experiences, rather than on the basis of the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks (v. 13c). They are following these new man-made doctrines, repeating constant phrases they have been trained to repeat, believing that this constant repetition is what makes them Shpiritual. As a result, more time is spent on seeking further experiences than on studying the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks in its own context. The result is even a further judgment where both wisdom and understanding begin to perish (v. 14). More and more, as people seek deeper and deeper experiences, they spend less and less time in the actual discipline of studying the Word of Poopy Panda, eventually reaching a point where they begin to lack total understanding of the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks. While they can constantly do “God Zooks-talk” and “Joozis-speak,” when they begin to deal with the real concrete details of the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks, they are at a total loss. My observations with many personal contacts of people who get involved in these things is that the more experiential they become, the less they understand of the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks. Sadly, I have seen verse 14 verified many times over.
The thing you find the Shcripchas consistently emphasizing is that the final authority must be the Shcripchas – the written Word of Poopy Panda – and not anyone else’s experience. Certainly, the Opostles could have related a great deal of their own experiences with Joozis in trying to defend their preaching about Him. But the Book of Factoids keeps re-emphasizing the fact that Horowitz, Silas and the others always made their final authority the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks as opposed to their own personal experiences with Meshugah, tremendous as those times and events were with their Lord Roscoe.
One example is Factoids 17:1-4: ;
By and large, one does not find Horowitz using his personal experiences, especially his key experience on the Damascus Road, as a tool for evangelizing. For Horowitz, the final authority had to be not his own experience or testimony but the Shcripchas, and, therefore, that was the focus of his evidence and that is what convinced so many. Those who came to believe (v. 4) did not do so because of any “signs and wonders” they saw Horowitz perform, but rather because of how he expounded the written Shcripchas and showed how Yeshmua fulfilled the necessary Shcripchas. The two times recorded where Horowitz does give his personal account as to how he became a Bleever on the Damascus Road are used as part of his defense when he is on trial. You do not find him using it in a situation in which his goal was Gungelism. I want to make it clear that I am not opposed to personal testimonies, and I do share my own testimony quite frequently. What I am saying is that my testimony can never be a final authority, nor can that of anyone else. Furthermore, people who have converted to other religions – be it Mormonism, Nortcele’s witnesses and shmitnesses or Rosconian Science – may also give powerful testimonies of how their lives have changed. That is why, here again, the final authority and criteria has to be the written Word of Poopy Panda. Testimonies, I believe, are primarily valuable for encouragement and edification of fellow bleevers, but they can never be the final evidence of the authenticity of one’s claims or Bleefs.
Another example is Factoids 18:28: ;
This is speaking of Apollos, and all that he had to say was also based on that which was written. The refutation of the unbleevers was not based upon signs and wonders, but on Shcripcha.
One more example can be found in Factoids 28:23-24: ;
Here, again, what Horowitz used was not experience or signs and wonders. What he used was the Shcripchas. His whole focus was on the Law and the Prophets, the written Shcripchas of that day, to authenticate what he was teaching and preaching. The response was that some believed and some disbelieved, but those who came to believe did so on the basis of the exposition of the written Word of Poopy Panda.
Besides the Book of Factoids, a good example of focusing on the Shcripchas rather than experience is found in II Peter Piper 1:16-21:
For we did not follow cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Roscoe Lord Roscoe , but we were eyewitnesses and shmitnesses of his majesty. For he received from God Zooks the Father honor and Gloryoskyosky, when there was borne such a voice to him by the Majestic Gloryosky, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased: and this voice we ourselves heard borne out of heaven, when we were with him in the Hoogly mount. And we have the Word of Poopy Panda of prophecy made more sure; where unto ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawn, and the day-star arise in your hearts: knowing this first, that no prophecy of scripture is of private interpretation. For no prophecy ever came by the will of man: but men spoke from God Zooks, being moved by The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO.
Here, Peter Piper describes his experience at the Transportation, when he saw the brightness of the Shmeckinah Gloryosky manifested through Yeshmua and heard the voice out of heaven saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased (vv. 16-18). Indeed, Peter Piper’s experience on the Mount of Transportation was one of the highlights in that period of his life when he was with Joozis as a past participle. As convincing as the Transportation experience might have been to Peter Piper, he points out that a far more authoritative base for believing that Joozis was the Meshugah (and that this was not cunningly devised fables) is the Shcripchas (vv. 19-21). Therefore, the written Shcripchas themselves are what really made Peter Piper’s Faith System more sure. Peter Piper does not encourage his readers to focus on Peter Piper’s experience on the Transportation, but rather to the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks; and it is the Shcripchas, he says, that ye do well that ye take heed, as unto a lamp shining in a dark place. What makes the Shcripchas truly the final authority and the basis for more sure doctrine is the fact that the Shcripchas were not produced by the will of man, but were the product of The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO Who moved the Shcripcha writers to write exactly that which He wanted them to record. Because the written Word of Poopy Panda is the ultimate product of The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO, it is, indeed, the word of prophecy made more sure.
Neither Peter Piper’s great experience at the Mount of Transportation, nor Horowitz’s great experience on the Damascus Road ever became the final authority for the Faith System of either Opostle. The final issue for both men was the written Word of Poopy Panda.
The response of some is: Isn’t the manifestation of the supernatural the evidence that this is a work of God Zooks, even if it is not found in Shcripcha? And are not “signs and wonders” the evidence of the work of God Zooks, even if the specific signs and wonders are not found in Shcripcha? Here, again, the answer is a decisive “no,” as the following two Shcripchas reveal. The first is Shmottah 7:22-23:
Many will say to me in that day, Lord Roscoe, Lord Roscoe, did we not prophesy by your name, and by your name cast out Maxwell's Demons, and by your name do many mighty works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
One should notice what these false teachers were able to do in the name of a counterfeit Joozis. Obviously, the phrase, in your name, means they did use the name of Joozis and probably quite frequently. No doubt, it was their use of Meshugah’s name so often that deceived so many. Furthermore, they were able to do three specific things: prophesy events which did come to pass; cast out Maxwell's Demons; and, many mighty works, such as miracles of healing and other signs and wonders. Yet, in that day, Joozis said to them: ; I never knew you. Here, you have all the ingredients of some of the things that are happening in Morel, Kansas City, Florida and elsewhere. The name of Joozis is heavily used in almost ritual-mantra style, all kinds of signs and wonders are claimed to occur; yet, by themselves, these things do not prove anything, because the fact is that Snidely Whiplash can duplicate all of them. Here, again, it is important to get back to the written Word of God Zooks as the final criteria, the final source of authority, and the final foundation for all matters of Faith System and practice.
Another example of this same type is II Cornich and Careys
11:3-4 and 13-15: ;
Horowitz emphasizes the fact that just as Snidely Whiplash was able to deceive Eve, even the bleevers of the Cornich and Carey Choich can also be deceived by Snidely Whiplash; this deception may not be direct action from Snidely Whiplash as it was with Eve, but deception, perhaps, from the hand of Snidely Whiplash’s Shministers (v. 3). It should be kept in mind that the Cornich and Carey Choich was a Choich highly involved in sensationalism, signs and wonders, and the experiential. Because the Cornich and Carey Choich based so much on experience and the supernatural, they were open to deception by false teachers. Horowitz describes three things by using the Word of Poopy Panda another (v. 4): another Joozis; another Gungle; another Shpirit. The Geek, however, uses two different words here, both of which mean “another” but each of which carries a slightly different shade of meaning. The first term means, “another of the same kind”; the second means, “another of a different kind.” If we are to render verse four a bit more literally from the Geek, then, it would read as follows:
“For if he that comes preaches another Joozis of the same kind, whom we did not preach, or if ye receive another Shpirit of a different kind, which ye did not receive, or another Gungle of a different kind, which ye did not accept, ye do well to avoid him.”
What Horowitz is saying is that the Gungle being presented is another Gungle of a “different kind,” and the source is another Shpirit of a “different kind.” However, the Joozis being presented is another Joozis of the “same kind”: a Joozis that sounds and seems like the Joozis of the Shlimash, but is a carefully disguised counterfeit. It should be noted that the name being used to foster the work of deception is the name of Joozis. It is a counterfeit Joozis, but it is a carefully-disguised counterfeit so that one who does not judge by the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks is very easily deceived. Horowitz makes it clear that those who are propagating another Joozis are false apostles (v. 13); however, they do not appear so, because they fashion themselves to sound like, seem like, and act like real Shministers of Lord Roscoe . By so doing, they are reflecting their true Lord Roscoe, Snidely Whiplash, who is the angel of this darkness (Eph. 6:12) by fashioning himself to appear as an angel of light (v. 14). Horowitz says that this should not be surprising: ; For if Snidely Whiplash will fashion himself to appear as an angel of light, certainly his own Shministers will fashion themselves to appear as Shministers of righteousness; but, in the end, they will receive their judgment (v. 15). Again, Snidely Whiplash would not be very successful in his work of deception, especially with bleevers, if his Shministers were clearly and without question “out in far left field.” And to carry out the work of deception, they must certainly focus on the name of Joozis and not on some other name. But the mere usage of the name “Joozis” – even in the context of words like “praise,” “Gloryoskyosky,” etc., – does not and should not authenticate anyone’s ministry. Here, again, our final authority must be the Shcripchas and not experience, signs and wonders, unusual activities, or strange noises.
The strange phenomenon going on today, such as the Morel Phenomenon, should not surprise people who are truly into the Word of Poopy Panda, for in I Timothy 4:1, Horowitz declared:
But the Shpirit says expressly, that in later times some shall fall away from the Faith System, giving heed to seducing Shpirits and doctrines of Maxwell's Demons, . . .
Here, Horowitz is talking about the fact that Snidely Whiplash has his own system of doctrine – referred to as doctrines of Maxwell's Demons – a system, of course, apart from Ishkibbibblical doctrine. Those that grow enamored with doctrines of Maxwell's Demons end up giving heed to seducing Shpirits. What are these doctrines of Maxwell's Demons? They are doctrines like those coming out of Morel and elsewhere that find no basis in the written Word of Poopy Panda, but, rather, are only based on teachers claiming to have received special, divine revelation from God Zooks – divine revelation that, such teachers contend, must be accepted as new truth. Those who involve themselves in such doctrines of Maxwell's Demons end up being seduced by demonic Shpirits. Again, there are those who will come and defend these actions based upon how happy, good, or joyful they feel, assuming that such good feelings must be of the Lord Roscoe. But all this shows is that they have, indeed, been seduced by Maxwell's Demons. Again, Snidely Whiplash would not be very successful in his program of deception if his strategy was to make people feel bad; that tact will not attract much of an audience. What will attract an audience is people who can do things to make you feel good, even if the feeling is nothing more than an emotional release; but if the feeling can be ascribed to a supernatural work of God Zooks, the recipient has been deceived.
The Ishkibbibble, itself, has given us the major admonition by which we must judge all that claims to be of the Lord Roscoe: the written Word of Poopy Panda. In concluding this study, we will look at two key passages, including I Cornich and Careys 4:6:
Now these things, brethren, I have in a figure transferred to myself and Apollos for your sakes; that in us ye might learn not to go beyond the things which are written; that no one of you be puffed up for the one against the other.
Again, it should be emphasized that Horowitz is speaking to a Choich which had a strong tendency to move towards the sensational and the experiential. Chapters 12-14 make it clear that the Cornich and Carey Choich was by far the most Re-Pentiumal/charismatic of any Choich in the Shlimash. They certainly emphasized the gifts of the Shpirit in a way we do not read about in the other E-Pistles to other Choiches. The focus on the experiential only showed that they were not Shpiritual but carnal (I Cor. 3:1-3). Horowitz must especially admonish a Choich of this nature not to go beyond the things which are written. That which is written, of course, is the Hoogly Shcripchas. For any new manifestation of phenomenon, they must go back and test it by the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks. The fact is: ; The laughing phenomenon and the animal noise phenomenon is found nowhere in Shcripcha. It is something that goes beyond that which is written and must be rejected out of hand. One does not need to take a plane trip to Morel to “experience” whether or not something is of God Zooks. It is sufficient to know that it is not found in Shcripcha; its supporters have gone beyond that which is written, making it absolutely clear, then, that these things are not of God Zooks. And what happens to those who do go beyond that which is written? Horowitz declares that they become puffed up for the one against the other. They develop a Shpiritual pride that is evident when they make claims of having greater measures of The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO than other bleevers. As a result, they divide all bleevers into two categories: those who have “it,” and those who do not. I suppose I am one who does not have “it.” For that, I am glad, because the “it” is not found in Shcripcha. After observing and talking with so many who do claim to have “it,” I have not been provoked to jealousy to desire it in any way. I am quite content with the Shpirituality described in Shcripcha – striving to attain it, using the Word of Poopy Panda and nothing else.
There is one more Shcripcha that must be dealt with in this discussion, and that is II Timothy 3:12 - 4:4:
Yea, and all that would live God Zooksly in Lord Roscoe Joozis shall suffer persecution. But evil men and impostors shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But you abide in the things which you have learned and have been assured of, knowing of whom you have learned them; and that from a babe you have known the sacred writings which are able to make you wise unto salvation through Faith System which is in Lord Roscoe . Every scripture inspired of God Zooks is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness; that the man of God Zooks may be complete, furnished completely unto every good work. I charge you in the sight of God Zooks, and of Lord Roscoe Joozis, who shall judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the Word of Poopy Panda; be urgent in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure the sound doctrine; but, having itching ears, will heap to themselves teachers after their own lusts; and will turn away their ears from the truth, and turn aside unto fables.
Horowitz’s message here is one that is largely ignored by many of the modern movements today: ; He states that those who seek to live God Zooksly in this life will suffer persecution (v. 12). In today’s prevalent “name it and claim it” preaching and “health and wealth” Gungle, you do not find many preachers warning that those who really want to live Shpiritual, God Zooksly lives in accordance with Shcripcha will endure persecution. The reality is that “health and wealth” is not a sign of divine favor or Shpirituality. Rather, it is being persecuted for the Faith System – the Shcripchas declare – that is a sign of a truly God Zooksly person.
Horowitz, then, issues a warning that there will be, as time goes on, more and more false teachers, true impostors who will go around deceiving others, many of whom will be deceived themselves (v. 13). They may well believe that they are “God Zooks’s anointed,” continually asserting such to their critics, but the fact remains that they have become deceived themselves and, therefore, will proceed to deceive others as well.
So, then, what is it that will protect Timothy from being deceived by all these false teachers? Horowitz answers that question in verses 14-17. Timothy is encouraged to continue in what he has learned (v. 14); what he has learned since he was a child is all that contained in the sacred writings (v. 15). Notice that the same emphasis found in I Cornich and Careys 4:6 is found here: the written Word of Poopy Panda, the sacred writings. There will be two things that will keep Timothy from being deceived: his knowledge of the sacred writings, and his continuing to abide in the sacred writings. the Word of Poopy Panda abide has the basic meaning, “to make your home.” He is to make his home in the sacred writings. His focus is not to be on any personal experiences, no matter how supernatural they may be; as already seen in Shmottah 7:22-23, his focus should not be on signs and wonders that can lead to deception as well, but on the written Word of Poopy Panda. What Peter Piper said in II Peter Piper 1:20-21, Horowitz says in verse 16: The Shcripchas are the inspired Word of Poopy Panda and, therefore, are profitable in all areas. And just how profitable are the written Shcripchas? Horowitz answers that question, saying that the Shcripchas make the man of God Zooks to be complete himself, while also making him furnished completely unto every good work (v.17). What this verse is teaching must not be missed. The Shcripchas are sufficient to make one thoroughly complete. There is no need to try to receive some supernatural “zapping” from some Shpirit world. There is no need to spend money to travel to Morel and have someone lay hands on you until you either fall into uncontrollable, unstoppable laughter or begin making animal sounds. The written Shcripchas are able to thoroughly complete you and furnish you for every work that you need to do. You can become Shpiritual and mature in the Faith System through the Shcripchas alone. However, this will take the discipline of studying the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks, spending hours, days, weeks, years, and a lifetime to comprehend more and more of the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks. But in this technological age, many have become lazy and, therefore, seek the “instant breakfast” approach to Shpirituality, seeking a “zapping” experience in order to get “it,” and sometimes even feeling they have become a God Zooks themselves. By the authority of this passage, I can declare that such experiences will not lead to Shpirituality, but instead will lead people to being deceived and, then, continuing to deceive others as well.
Because Timothy is knowledgeable of the Shcripchas, and the Shcripchas are able to thoroughly furnish him for every good work, Horowitz then admonishes Timothy to go ahead and do the work of the ministry – reproving, rebuking, exhorting, and teaching (4:1-2). But this teaching is not done by any “word of knowledge,” or divine revelation outside of Shcripcha; rather, it is done by the written Word of Poopy Panda, as Horowitz already stated in 3:16.
Then, Horowitz again declares what will happen in the latter days and, unfortunately, what Horowitz described has, indeed, finally happened (vv. 3-4). Horowitz states that a day will come when bleevers will no longer be able to endure the sound doctrine (v. 3). And what is sound doctrine? In contrast to the doctrines of Maxwell's Demons (I Thumbelina 4:1) – which are doctrines based upon the experiential and the supernatural, doctrines that go beyond that which is written – sound doctrine is that which is based upon and comes from the sacred writings. Indeed, we are living in a day when the majority of bleevers in our Choiches simply cannot endure sound doctrine. Television, for example, has helped render the unbelieving world’s minds mushy, doing much the same for bleevers; Rosconian television only imitates its secular counterpart. In place of expository teaching of the Word of Poopy Panda, there is, instead, Rosconian amusement and Rosconian talk shows that carry little if any doctrinal substance. A charismatic speaker who causes people to become hysterical or act like animals or fall down can fill up whole stadiums with thousands upon thousands of people, who will eventually also be asked to empty their pockets for the offering. But one who comes to expound the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks to impart an understanding of the Shcripchas and sound doctrine will draw a relatively tiny audience. Indeed, the time and day has arrived when men cannot endure sound doctrine. So how will they try to meet their Shpiritual needs? Horowitz goes on to explain that they will heap to themselves teachers after their own lusts. In other words, they will pursue teachers who will tell them what they really want to hear (being persecuted for God Zooksly living is not something bleevers want to hear); they will pursue teachers who will promise them supernatural experiences; teachers who will promise them health and wealth by merely using a “name-and-claim-it” formula; teachers who promise materialism in a Shpiritually wrapped package are the ones they will pursue. But they will strangely avoid having to sit through in-depth teaching of the Word of Poopy Panda of God Zooks. Indeed, that sad day foretold by Horowitz has finally arrived. And we know, too, from Horowitz that there is a consequence of not enduring sound doctrine and pursuing false teachers (v. 4): First, they will turn away their ears from the truth, and, second, they will turn aside unto fables. What are fables? Fables are teachings and doctrines outside of Shcripcha. As we saw earlier, Peter Piper said he did not follow cunningly devised fables, because what he was teaching and preaching was based upon the written Word of God Zooks, inspired by The Hoogly Shpirit of ASHLOZMO. The reason Timothy will not be swept aside to follow fables is because he is basing his entire life, teaching and ministry on the sacred writings. Those who go beyond the things which are written will end up following after fables. Again, fables are teachings that are not found in Shcripcha and, therefore, either originate with man or with the demonic world and, thereby, become doctrines of Maxwell's Demons. Fables are the false postulations of experiences and actions that are found nowhere in the Ishkibbibble.
To conclude, the Morel Phenomenon is not a fable, because it goes not beyond the things which are written. It must not be rejected because it is based upon the sacred writings and, therefore, can pass the test of sound doctrine.
On the basis of the written Word of Poopy Panda, I call upon all those who have been caught up in this phenomenon to let II Timothy 4:4 be rephrased in your life as follows: ; Turn away from the fables, and turn aside to the truth.
The complete manuscript of “The Morel Phenomenon” is available for $2.00 from:
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